


Bundle of oneshots (RvB x reader)

by lguwo1



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Comedy, Multi, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 25,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8019475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lguwo1/pseuds/lguwo1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader x Rvb. Request always open!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 6. Obsession (North)

You could only stare in frustration and anger at the scene presented to you. There they were…talking… _again._ There they were…laughing… _again!_ Well, she wasn’t laughing, only he was. Which was unacceptable. Only _you_ could make him laugh until he cried. Only _you_ could talk to him. But here she was, doing the exact same thing…without even trying. When she asked you, if you wanted her to talk to North for you, you were skeptical but trusted her nonetheless. She knew of your…“ crush”, if it could even be called that, on North. 

To the normal person, it seemed like a cute crush, with a tinge of possessiveness, but, if a person were to look carefully, they could see it was not a simple crush, or love. Stalking him might have been considered cute, if not for you memorising his time table, knowing where he was always. Wanting him not to talk to girls would’ve been cute, if you didn’t want him to talk to anyone that wasn’t you. There was a fine line between possession and obsession, and you were way over the line.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well after a few weeks of mulling, I’ve finally done it. So, what do you think? I can do more, or i can’t, really depends on reception. Not all chapters could be depressing/freaky like this one. I just had a spur of the moment thought when I saw obsession. Prompts can be found https://kathrineroid.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/100-themes-challenge-writing-prompts/
> 
> Name of character and prompt (doesn’t have to be that, just be specific)
> 
> e.g
> 
> North- 6. Obsessive or North one short where the readers obsessed also a love triangle with South
> 
> Something that like. Enjoy and request please <3


	2. 55. Composed (Tucker)

**Words: 197**

**Character: Tucker**

**Romance: Yes**

“Hey (Y/N)!” You briefly glanced up from your position, only to come face to face with Tucker. As per usual he was in his teal/aqua marine, blueish armour, and, as per usual, he was flirting with you.

“Hi Tucker.” Your voice lacked emotion as you said this.

“Are you from Tennessee-”

“No, I’m not.” Tucker’s grin faltered ever so slightly as you shut him down, but that did not deter him.

“What about this one? I’m like a Rubik’s cube-”

“The more you play with me, the harder I get.” Even though you couldn’t see it, the grin on his face fell. It was amusing to see him struggle, but you had to keep your composure, so laughing was a no-no.

“I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So…?”

“So I guess you’re going to need an antihistamine.” Tucker just sighed heavily before walking away, to think up a new plan.

 

“(Y/N)! QUICK I’M CHOKING! I NEED MOUTH TO MOUTH!” You glanced up from your book to see Tucker clutching his throat dramatically.

“Choking on dick?”      

 

“Are you tired? Cause you’ve been running around in my mind all day.”

“Yeah…running from you is pretty hard.”


	3. 36. Submission + 99. Embarrassment (Tucker)

Words: 433

Characters: Tucker

Romance: Sure

“Hey (Y/N), how does it feel to be the sexiest girl in this room? Bow chicka bow wow.”

You didn’t even spare Tucker a glance from as walked past him while patrolling. You were going to point out that you were both outside, until an idea stuck you. There was a fifty percent chance that this was going to work, so you prayed to god you got the good end of this stick.

“I’m not sure Lavernius, how does it feel to be the most attractive person in this canyon?”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you thought you’d regret it but boy were you wrong. Even though he had his helmet on, you could tell he was blushing. Never did you think the Lavernius Tucker, ‘doctor fuck’, would be tongue tied over a crappy pick up line.

“I-Uh I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I…W-what?”

“I am willing to lower my standards just for you Lavernius.” 

“W-W-What? Y-Y-You’re not joking are you?” At this, you just shrugged nonchalantly.

“How about we find out in the bedroom?”

“Bow chicka bow wow?”

The two of you sat down in your room, Tucker fidgeting nervously and you grinning.

“Lavernius, closes your eyes for a second.” Tucker obliged but almost opened them when he heard metal clinking. You noticed, “Come on Lavernius, eyes…closed.”

“Uh, well I’m not much of a kink shamer, bow chicka bow wow.” A few seconds of silence passed and Tucker resisted the urge to open his eyes again. “(Y/N)?” His words made a chuckle leave your lips.

“You can open them now.” Tucker’s eyes opened, then quickly widened as he saw the dilemma he was in.

“Woah babe, I get that-” You decided to ignore him and observe your master piece. Boy scouts really teach you how to tie a good knot. “-How did you even tie me down without me feeling it.” All you did was shrug.

“Oh Tucker, it’ll be a cold day in hell, before you lose our virginity.”

“W-wait, (Y/N), where are you going?”

“Dunno, but I’m definitely knot staying here! AHA!” You then proceeded to walk out of the room, as Tucker pathetically flailed tied to the bed.

“(Y-Y-/N)?”

 

“TUCKER! TUCKER? TUCKER! Man, where the hell is Tucker?” Church continued muttering in slight anger as he paced around the base aimlessly. As he maneuvered around, he came face to face helmet to helmet with you.

“Hey, rookie. Have you seen Tucker?” Instead of receiving a verbal response, Church just received a light heartedly scoff before (Y/N) walked away.

“I think he’s a little TIED UP! AHA!”

“What? What the fuck? ROOKIE?”

You can either request a name/senario with a character like this beautiful mushroom lady did. request are always open (https://kathrineroid.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/100-themes-challenge-writing-prompts/) For the prompts


	4. 79. Illogical (Lopez)

“Hey uh, dude, uh…thingy…uh brown dude. L-L-L-LOPEZ! YEAH! THAT’S THE ONE, LOPEZ! Senior El Roberto.” Lopez took a moment to look at you, who had suddenly arrived from nowhere. 

“¿lo que es lo que quiere estúpida este tiempo (What is it you want this time stupid)?” 

“Great to see you too, Lo-lo-lo-” You trailed off while squinting, not remembering his name.

“Lopez, idiota.”

“Oh yeah, thanks dude. But I’m not here to talk to you…wait no, I am here to talk to you.”

“¿déjame adivinar que estás aquí para preguntarme algo inútil y estúpida (Let me guess you’re here to ask me something pointless and stupid)?”

“What? Nah dude, I’m at least slightly sensible. I’m here to ask you about-”

“¿espere un minuto , me puedes entender (Wait a minute, you can understand me)?”

“Huh? What? No? I don’t understand Italian; why would I be able to understand you?”

“No estoy hablando italiano (I’m not speaking Italian).”

“Uh yes you are, that’s why I don’t understand you.”

“No estoy hablando italiano (I’m not speaking Italian). Estoy hablando idiota español (I’m speaking Spanish idiot.)”

“Italian?”

“Español (Spanish).”

“Italian?”

“Españ-”

“Dude Lopez, stop talking nonsense, I clearly don’t understand you.”

“Si usted no me entiende , ¿por qué sigues respondiendo adecuadamente (If you don’t understand me, why do you keep responding properly) ?”

“Duh, luck.” If the robot could, he would’ve sighed heavily. Knowing this was getting him nowhere, he just decided to end the conversation then and there.

“¿Qué deseas (What do you want)?”

“Dude Lorenzo, why did you suddenly start speaking Spanish?”

“Dios ayúdame (God help me).”

I just had this amazing idea, love me please <3.


	5. 2. Complicated- Text(as) AU (Church)

(Y/N): Forgotten, AGAIN! How fucking fun! Thanks Leonard.

Leonard: (Y/N), I’m sorry okay, I was busy.

(Y/N): Lemme guess, Allison!

Leonard: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME IT’S ALLISON?

(Y/N): Because it always is! Leonard, I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, not her.

Leonard: You’re so…

(Y/N): I’m so what?

Leonard: Ugh, you’re so fucking restrictive.

(Y/N): Oh LOL! Ok then! Mental note: Don’t get jealous if your boyfriend still obsesses over his ex.

Leonard: I didn’t even say that!

(Y/N): Oh Leonard, you know that’s a bunch of bullshit! This is the third fucking time; I am so fucking sick of you!

Leonard: (Y/N)

(Y/N): Don’t (Y/N) me! Give me an answer, a proper one, on why you weren’t at our date today.

Leonard: I…

(Y/N): Well?

Leonard: I didn’t have any…money

(Y/N): Because you spent it all…on Allison

Leonard: NO!

(Y/N): Leonard

Leonard: Okay fine I did!

(Y/N): Ugh, when are you getting paid?

Leonard: Next week

(Y/N): Fine, Monday or Friday?

Leonard: I think I’m free on Thursday

(Y/N): Fuck Leonard, I’m busy on that day, that’s why I asked- Never mind, cancelled. You’d better not stick me up again or Grif will kill you.

Leonard: So Thursday, movies?

(Y/N): Yeah sure, try not to make this relationship anymore complicated and just turn up.

Leonard: I will, promise.

(Y/N): You better. Love you midget

He broke his promise.

 

Church is an asshole that never stops thinking about Allison.


	6. 89. Pleased + 99. Embarrassment (Felix)

You sat on your chair, intently watching your favourite television show, only to be broken out of your trance by your phone ringing. Your hand picked up your phone and glanced at the I.D number.

Isaac Gates +x (xxx) xxx-xxxx

Without another thought, you clicked the green button in elation.

“Isaac- I mean Felix! Great to hear from you-” You went to continue but stopped when you heard gunshots, grunts and screams. “Felix, are you…fighting?” It took a few seconds but you finally received your response.

“Yes and I am kicking this guy’s ass!”

“W-What? Felix that’s-that’s dangerous! You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“Babe, don’t worry about it, I am fucking awesome, there’s no way…no way these guys could even scratch me.” You worried at his pause but knew that no matter what you did, he wouldn’t stop.

“Ugh, Felix.” You sighed. “So…how’s your mission going?”

“Great, it’s so fucking easy, I swear to god these soldiers just keep getting worse. I could- wait a second. Locus is saying something.” There was a long pause before Felix talked again. “Locus these guys can’t even beat me when I’m talking to my girlfriend, what makes you think that they can beat me while I’m using one hand?”

“FELIX! You’re fighting with one hand? WHY? WHY? WHY? Ugh, why?”

“You know you love me.”

 

 

“Hey (Y/N).” You ignored the screams in the background.

“Yes Felix?”

“I’ll trade you dick pics for nudes.”

“W-W-What? F-F-FELIX!


	7. 20. Defeated (Church)

You wandered aimlessly around the halls in your house, attempting to clear your mind of all of the happenings of today. Again, Church stuck you up, and again, you forgave him…you always did. But, you’d finally made up your mind, this time was the last time. At first his constant bitching and whining was bearable, cute even at time, but now you were done. You were supposed to be his girlfriend, but he spent more time chasing Allison then you. You were supposed to be his girlfriend, but he spent more money and time with Allison.

“Hey (Y/N), you wanted me?” Yours eyes travelled to the direction of the door, where Church stood.

“Yeah, uh…d-do you want to sit down for this?”

“Okay…” Church obliged. “So…what do you want to talk about?” You took multiple breaths to calm yourself and bit your lip nervously.

“I…Let’s break up. Leonard, let’s s-stop dating.” It took a few seconds for Church to react, but when he did, his eyes widened dramatically.

“What? YOU’RE JOKING AREN’T YOU? Was it Tucker? Did the fucker tell you to-”

“No…” Your voice was surprisingly calm, which scared you. “It’s not Tuckers fault…it’s yours Leonard.”

“W-What did I do?”

“Allison.”

“OH (Y/N), DON’T BRING ALLISON INTO THE CONVERSATION!”

“I can’t either way! Because every time I do, you shut down the conversation like it’s irrelevant.”

“Because it is-”

“CHURCH!” He shoots visibly at your reaction. “NO MORE OKAY? NO MORE! I KNOW YOU ONLY ASKED ME OUT BECAUSE ALLISON DUMPED YOU! I KNOW THAT YOU DON’T LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE CHURCH…J-just go back to Allison.”

“(Y/N)-“

“No Church, no more, I’m done.” You were defeated, you couldn’t do it anymore. Church was a good boyfriend, just not your good boyfriend. He was chasing someone and that someone was not you. “C-Can you just leave? Please Church, p-please just leave.”

Church loved someone…and that someone was not you.


	8. 23. Overwhelmed (Doc + O’Malley)

You sat in the clinic skimming through hundreds of books and pages. Your eyes skimmed each sentence, engrossing yourself in pointless and irrelevant information. It was another day, not excessively loud but neither was it as quiet as you hoped it was.

“Uh, (Y/N) …hey.” Not even slightly fazed, you looked towards the direction of the door and found Doc standing there.

“Doc.” You did nothing more than acknowledge his presence. “Do you need anything?”

“W-w-well, uh-uh, I,” you raised your eyebrow curiously as Doc continued to stutter embarrassingly, “I-it’s uh- _just say it you foolish fool!_ ” Oh, you sighed heavily at his sudden arrival.

“O’Malley, such pleasure to see you.” A part of you genuinely meant it, the illogical and emotionally driven part, aka stupid (Y/N).

“ _I would say the same, but I would be lying! MUAHAHA!”_ His stereotypical and unwarranted laugh cause you to cringe but smile ever so slightly.

“O’Malley, that isn’t very nice!”

“ _Nice? You fool! Do you want to see me not being nice?”_ O’Malley not being nice? Now that intrigued you.

“O’Malley please don’t!”

 _“Fool!”_ It took you a moment, but you finally realised he was talking to you.

“Oh uh, yes…O’Malley?”

_“Your foolish minuscule brain may not realise it but Dufresne is infatuated with you!”_

“What? Excuse me?”

 _“YES! MUAHAHA. You’re all he thinks about all day and, if you could see what he dreams about. MUAHAHAHA!”_ You sat there gobsmacked at the information received, with your eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-EXCUSE ME?” Your shock was only increased as Doc spoke again.

“I-I only think about her all day because of you!”

 _“What_ (WHAT)?” Both you and O’Malley screeched out in alarm.

“YES! O’Malley thinks about you all day, and you’re on his ‘don’t obliterate’ list!”

“ _LIES, NONE SHALL SURVIVE MY WRATH FOOL! YOU FOOLISH FOOL AND YOUR…FOOLISHNESS!”_ Doc/O’Malley stood there panting heavily, as their body could not handle the one-way conversation anymore. You could do nothing and say nothing to the two (?) men.

“I-I-I-I…WHAT? DOC? O’MALLEY? W-W-W-WHAT?”


	9. 39. Out of Time (Washington)

Three men stood outside of where you sat, standing attentive and alert while you were quite the opposite. Your torso and anything higher was leaning on the floor while your legs dangled on the seat. The world to you, was upside down and to her, you were upside down. It was just your way of making life slight more interesting but, being here for years and having absolutely nothing to do made you bored, bored, BORED! At least all the other guys have call mates, but here you were, with _no-one._

“Hey. HEY. HEY! HEYYYYYY! HEEEEELLOOOOOOOO! HELLLO-”

“PRISONER SHUT IT! Or do I have to come in there and silence you?”

“HA! I’d like to see you try Robert! The best _you_ could do-”

“PRISONER!”

“Robert what is it-”

“NOT YOU! SHUT IT!” Okay, it’s not like you wanted to speak or anything. Who needed to finish sentence? Definitely not you. “I wish you luck freelancer.”

You kind’ve glanced up from where you were lying, to see a blonde man getting shoved roughly into your cell.

“OOOOH YES! YES! YES!” The blonde gave you a weird look as Robert patted him on the back.

“Like I said, wish you luck.” Robert then walked out of the cell and closed it. Leaving the two of you…alone…ish.

“OH MY GOD FINALLY! UGH YOU DON’T KNOW HOW BORING IT’S BEEN SITTING-LYING IN HERE DOING NOTHING AT ALL!” The blonde still said nothing. “Hey hot stuff, is it possible to die from too much blood to your head?”

There was a slight pause until you received your answer.

“Yes…it’s possible.”

“OH COOL! I’ve been trying for weeks and I didn’t want my efforts to be in…ugh my head hurts.” Despite complaining you made no efforts in getting up. The blonde could see that, so took a seat next to you. “So…” You say while briefly looking in his direction, “what are you in here for?”

“It shouldn’t really concern you should it?”

“OH COME ON! YOU CAN TELL ME CELL BUDDY!” He simply sighed deeply at your shouting.

“Fine…I’ve done things I’m not proud of, so this is my way of paying.”

“Oh…cool.”

“What about you?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you in here?”

“Oh…”

_Blood, screaming and tears. Only the cries of hopeless families and your demented laughter could be heard._

“Guess…oh,” you trailed off thinking hard,” that’s a hard one! GIVE ME ANOTHER QUESTION!”

“What? That’s not how questioning works.”

“Yes, it is! Ask about my name! Wait no! I ask you, then you ask me!” Again the blondie sighed heavily as if regretting every decision in his life.

“Go on.”

“Hello blonde man I have never seen, may I politely inquire what your name is?”

“Washington.”

“Just Washington? OH, OH , OH! WAIT! YOU WERE PART OF PROJECT FREELANCER! Yeah, okay, that explains a lot of things.” There was a silence as he thought you were bouncing excitedly. “Well?”

“Well what?” His response, for a reason he could no fathom, made you giggle.

“You’re supposed to ask me for my name silly!” He didn’t say anything which angered you slightly. “WELL, MR. DC! MY name is (Y/N), thank you very much.”

“Just (Y/N)?”

“I have a lot of different names, (Y/N) is just my favourite.”

“(Y/N), you are quite the enigma.”

“Oh, my mum called me that before…or was it stigma? Eh either way it doesn’t matter!”

“And why is that?”

“Well, we’ll have the rest of our lives to learn every secret about each other!”

“Great…just great.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The joke is you have too much time


	10. 77. Memories (Epsilon)

Words: 128

Characters: Epsilon

Romance: Not really

It was truly an amazing thing, a memory. It could be bad, it could be sad, it could make you glad or it could make you mad. You’d never know with a memory. They were amazing moments that you wish you could never forget and moments you just want to forget but…they didn’t last forever. Just like people, you lose memories. Sometimes it’s best to let go of a memory, no matter how great it is. It might be hard at first, you might not want to, but you have to because if you don’t, you won’t get that far in life. Don’t hang on to a memory for too long because eventually all memories, even the good ones, have to end…it’s just life.

Rest in peace Epsilon.


	11. 21. Never Again (Theta)

Words: 248

Characters: Theta

Romantic: Yes and No

 

Space. It was so freakin scary yet fascinating. It was an empty space of nothingness yet; it was an unimaginably infinite vacuum. To you, it was something you wanted to explore, something to wanted to discover. Because of this, you never imagined that you’d be in the same room with…with A. I’s. You never thought, as a solider, you’d be handed the task of…communicating with them. Crazy world you lived in.

You thought he was cute, the unprofessional side that is. See that purplish pinkish bundle of joy almost made you regret working with the director…almost.

The first time you met him, it actually physically shook you. His innocence, his…cuteness, you really didn’t expect it. Though it could be said he thought the same. He’d only seen the Director and the Counsellor, who’d scared him. So, when he saw you, no-met you, he was sceptical at first.

You were nice, at least you seemed nice but then again, anyone could act nice. Over time though, you grew onto him. He was still awkward, the cute kind, but he was more outgoing. He’d tell you about his secrets, which you already knew, and talked about his brothers, who you again, already knew. He’d show you his learned tricks and you’d listen to him talk all day.

You gave him your time. He gave you his trust and he was really hoping you never broke it.

If A. I’s could feel anything. Then boy was he disappointed when you did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing I want to do with all the A.I’s including my baby (Epsilon <3)
> 
> Funfact: A while ago I changed my league (of legends) name to “Epsilon Ai”


	12. 72. Pretence (Poly Felix + Locus)

It was another day at the police station. Children were occasionally walking back and forth but that did not ruin the quiet atmosphere. For you, it had been an okay day. Nothing particularly good happened but nothing great to make to feel…well, great.

It wasn’t until a certain figure walked through the door, did your mood change. You weren’t really sure if it was negative or positive, but your mood definitely did change.

“Morning babe.”

“Felix, please refrain from calling me that.” Felix only smirked and walked up to the desk you were near. He attempted to rest his elbow on the table but somehow managed to slip. You bit your lip, to silence your giggles but a little sound managed to escape.

“So, where’s your boyfriend today?” Felix straightened up as you said that.

“Oh…Sam. He’s busy right now but I can see you’re not going to be.” You cringed slightly.

“I’m on duty Felix.”

“Like I said, not going to be.”

“Oh?” You were intrigued and confused at the same time. “What are you trying to do Felix.”

“Oh you know, just seeing if I can make tonight a threesome.” Before you were slouching but, the second he finished, you stood straight up.

“W-What?” 

“Yeah, pretty sure Sam- Locus won’t mind if I bring you along.”

“Aren’t you guys dating?”

“Yeah, but we can have a three way as long as you’re fine with sharing.”

“Oh…” You sat in an awkward silence as you were trying to comprehend what Felix just said. A threesome between two…really hot men…there was really only one answer. “You two better not disappointment me.”

“Trust me, we’re the best.”


	13. 96. Thrilled (Blue team + Red team)

**Reaction to a kiss**

**Words: 617**

**Characters (In order of appearance): Tucker, Caboose, Church, Sister, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, Lopez and Donut**

**If you like a specific one shot, you can request an extended version. I plan to do this with every character (Freelancers, mercs, etc.) but it does take a long time**

**Romantic: Very**

 

**Blue Team**

**Tucker**

When Tucker saw you, he didn’t expect much. Maybe he’d throw a few cheesy pickup lines, maybe he’d just ignore you, he didn’t really know. What he didn’t expect was you grabbing him. What he didn’t expect was you passionately making out with him before walking away.

“Oh…w-wait?” Oh god, he just sounded like Simmons. “I meant, wait.” You stopped in your walking and looked at him.

“Yeah?” It took Tucker all his power to supress the shiver. Your voice was just…another supressed shiver.

“D-Did you mean to do that? I mean, are you joking? Because last time I ended up tied to a bed. I mean-” He was silenced by your kiss which, after pulling away, left both of you panting and blushing.

“What do you think now Tucker?”

“Uh…Bow chika bow wow?”

**Caboose**

Caboose blushed a little before touching the place you kissed him. His smile only grew as he realised what you did.

“Caboose?” He seemed to be snapped out of it by your talking. “Are you okay buddy?” He nodded frantically before running in the opposite direction of you.

“CHURCH! THE PRETTY LADY JUST GAVE ME A KISS!”

“WHAT THE FUCK?” That was definitely Tucker. “Where’s my kiss?” Definitely.

**Church**

“Wow…I think being in this canyon just got a little less shitty.”

“Just a little?”

“Yeah, we’re surrounded by shitheads, no circumstance could make that even good.”

“Well, would another kiss improve anything?”

“No…but I wouldn’t be complaining.”

**Sister/Kaikaina**

“Woah, you kiss better than my brother.”

“Wait, what?”

**(I love this too much. I hate it but I love it so much)**

**Sheila/F.I.L.S.S**

“You do realise I could not feel that?”

“Yeah…”

“But it is really the thought that counts. Thank you.”

**Red Team**

**Sarge**

He locked himself away. You couldn’t believe it, _he_ locked _himself_ away after _you_ kissed _him._ That was really something none of you expected.

“Sarge…are you okay?”

“YES! OF COURSE I AM!”

“Can I…come in?”

“WHAT’S THE PASSWORD?”

“Uh…uh…Pass…word…2?”

“GOD NAMIIT!”

**Simmons**

His breathing rate increased, face turned a shade of red and eyes dilated.

“Simmons?” You saying his name just made his cheeks redden, if it was even possible.

“Uh-I-Uh-” His voice kept raising in octaves, and he couldn’t stop the stuttering. You kissed him. _You_ kissed _him_. YOU KISSED SIMMONS!

“So I take it…you didn’t like it?” Simmons coughed into his gloved hands multiple times, attempting to calm himself.

“N-No!” Great one Richard! The stuttering was bad enough but the fact that his voice was higher than yours made him want to die. “I-I-I m-mean…” Deep breaths Richard. “I-I-I mean…I-I liked it?”

“Oh?” You smiled a little as he talked. “Do…do you want another?” Before you got your answer, he fainted. You were too close, too cute, he just couldn’t handle it anymore.

**Grif**

Both of you sat down beneath a tree, relishing in the shade it provided. Grif was lying down, thinking about who knows what, while you were hugging your knees next to him.

“Hey Grif?” He made a sound that was something between yeah and a hum. “Are you sure your armour’s orange? It always seems to be alternating between orange and yellow.”

Grif, from his position, sat up quickly. He was going to complain but was silence by your lips. He sat there shocked for a few seconds before you pulled away.

“You call me lazy…” He grumbled out, but you could see he was thrilled.

“Hm, you wouldn’t have gotten up any other way lemon head.”

“IT’S ORANGE!”

 

**Lopez**

**“** ¿Se da cuenta de que soy un robot y no tienen la cara (You do realise I’m a robot and have no face)?”

“Would you allow me to continue if I said no?” There was a brief pause.

“Si.”

“Well then, no.”

 

**[Donut](http://rvbxreader.tumblr.com/post/149879274051/79-illogical-lopez) **

 

“Oh…wow. I think you just blew me away!”

“Let me blow you…away again?


	14. 8. Soft (Maine)

**Words: 254**

**Characters: Maine**

**Romantic: Sure**

It was another day on MOI. Nothing new or particularly exciting had happened but that could be because of your job position. Unlike the freelancers, you didn’t go out on exciting missions or perform an amazing heist. You were just the doctor, the one that was occasionally useful. Most of the time you were just there for the sake of being there. Today was one of your lucky days though, you had a little visitor.

“Hello Maine.” The eight-foot man growled from behind you, a little thing you thought was cute.

At first understanding his growls was difficult, you thought he was extremely intimidating making you scared as first. But, as time went on, you realised he was a nice guy, cute even. He meant very well and that’s all that mattered to you.

“How was your mission?” Another growl. “OH! Carolina did that again?” After grabbing multiple medical supplies, you walked over to Maine so you could clean his wounds. “How many times is that? Two?” Maine nodded.

_It was scary._

“Oh Maine, you’re such a baby.”        

_It was too high._

“You can kill hundreds of people but when it comes to heights, you can’t handle it?” Maine nodded and you giggled before cleaning up your wounds.

“If you want…I can uh, sleep with you tonight. Oh-wait, no, not like that- I mean-” You were cut off by Maine hugging your lower body. This was Maine you were talking about, of course he knew what you meant.

Damn, sometimes he was too innocent.


	15. 69. Noble (Grif)

> **Words: 453  
> **
> 
> **Characters: Grif**
> 
> **Romantic: Very (fluffy)**

You looked at him, he stared right back. You smiled and he only grimaced. You went to touch him, but he flinched.

“Grif…” Ugh, he hated the pity in your voice. “It’s not pity Grif, it’s concern.” Damn it, he said it out loud. Stupid! Stupid!

“Ugh, just leave me alone (Y/N), I just wanna sleep.” He went to lay down, while leaning on the wall, but you stopped him.

“Oh no you don’t DEXTER!” You grabbed him by his shoulders and sat him upright. He made eye contact with you and, you could finally see how bad his eye was. Swollen, bruised and puffy. When he realised you were looking at it, he looked away, seemingly ashamed.

“What do you want?” He didn’t mean for it to come out rude, he was just so…tired, so…embarrassed. He didn’t want you to see him this way, he wanted you to see him when he was at his best. His sarcastic, lazy self, not this pathetic, rude and moody one.

“I want to know, why. Why did you try to fight _him_?”

“Simple, he stole my food and thought he could get away with it.” That instilled a sceptical look from you.

“Really Grif? You started a fight with the Maine because he stole your food?” Shit, now that you said that out loud, he didn’t really sound that convincing. “What really happened?”

“Nothing.” He said a little bit too quickly.

“Grif. Please,” you rested your hand on his cheek, “what really happened?” Grif said nothing, and tried to not make eye contact with you. “Please, _Dex._ You know I’m asking because I care, I care about you.” No answer. “Dex…please, I-”

“MAINE AND HIS FRIENDS WERE MAKING FUN OF US OKAY? THEY CALLED ME LAZY, STUPID RUDE, BUT…but worst of all they called…” Grif trailed off in a shaky voice.

“Dexter, what is it? What did they say about you?” Grif took a sharp breath in.

“It was you. They called you…” Grif stopped again, but this time showed no sign of continuing. Instead of pressuring to continue, you just cupped his face.

“Dexter. Dexter. _Dexter._ Dexter, look at me.” He finally looked at you. “It doesn’t matter what they say about you _or_ me.” You kissed him lightly on his swollen eye. “It dosen’t matter what they _think_ about us.” You kissed his bruised lip. “It doesn’t matter what they try to do.” You kissed his red cheek. “Because, Dexter Grif, I will _always_ love you.” Then you embraced him. He sat there awkwardly before embracing you back.

“Buy me some oreos?”

“Hm…yeah.”

“Buy me dinner?” His question almost made you stutter.

“Uh, sure.”

“Buy me-”

“GRIF!” Oh you loved that lazy idiot.  


	16. 98. Game (Wyoming)

**Words: 426**

**Characters: Wyoming + (cameo) Washington**

**Romantic: Very**

****There were rumours going around, rumours about Wyoming that involved you. At first, you were shocked, it couldn't have been true, this was Wyoming you were talking about. But as time went on, you admitted to yourself that it was possible. It could be possible that Wyoming _might've_ maybe had a little crush on you. Possible...you just had to make sure.

It wasn't like you were curious or anything. Sitting where he usually walked by was totally **not** curiosity. Waiting for his to come by so you could test this theory, was **not** curiosity. It was just some sort of...intrigue. SLIGHT intrigue, nothing more.

Ah, there he was.

"Hey, Wyoming." The second he looked at you, your heart started beating faster. Not being Wyoming was there, obviously not, just because...reasons. It wasn't because of his amazing looks, or his _amazing_ personality, or  ** _amazing_** mustache...definitely not. Ugh, you were not supposed to get side-tracked. "Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Wall."

"Wall wh-" You had to stifle a giggle as Wyoming ran into a wall, he was just too cute. WAIT NO, NOT CUTE, he wasn't cute, definitely _not_ cute.

"Oh come on Wyoming, are my "knock knocks" that good?"

"Sorry love, I was just very entranced by your appearance." It took all your effort and, even a cough into your fist, to calm yourself. Even then, you were stuttering like a fool.

"W-What? E-E-E-E-Excuse me?"

"You heard me, your appearance is just too...entrancing." Wyoming seemed to chuckle as he saw your gobsmacked and embarrassed expression. "Oh come on love, are my jokes that good?" Oh...he was just joking. Ouch, that's got to sting.

"Pfft, as if! You want to hear a funny joke? I think you're hot!"

"Ohoho? Well I think you're extremely stunning." As Wyoming said this, you stood up so you could get your point across.

"Is that the best you've got? HA! I think that you're the hottest person I know! I keep denying it but, I THINK I LIKE YOU...A LOT!" You were left panting and breathing heavily as you finished your "confession". Wyoming was going to say something but seemed to pause as he saw something. You, confused, turned to see Washington standing there, blushing.

"Oh no, sorry, uh, continue, I'll just go...over...there." Washington started to pace off quickly and you were completely silent as you processed what he must've heard.

"Oh...oh! OH NO, OH, NO, OH NO! WAIT, NO! HOLY SHIT, WASHINGTON WAIT!" You started to run after him, "IT WAS A JOKE! A JOKE I TELL YOU! PLEASE, WASHINGTON, DON'T TELL YORK!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funfact: It took me 4 seasons to realise that Wyoming died :(


	17. 85. Graceful (Grif)

**Words: 463**

**Characters: Grif**

**Romantic: Sure**

It took all your willpower to supress your giggles. The scene in front of you was too funny and you know you couldn’t hold it back any longer. In front of you, technically not in front of you, there was Grif, being graceful as usual.

“Hey…when…can…I…stop?” Each pause was followed by multiple agonised pants which made your grin even larger.

“When I say you can!” As he was passing by your sitting figure, Grif glared at you comically. “Come on Captain Grif, move them legs!” As he ran faster, you couldn’t help your eyes trailing-

“Lieutenant (L/N).” You shot up from your place.

“WHAT? YES? NOOOOOOO! YES?  PFFT, WHAT’RE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I’M TOTALLY NOT CHECKING OUT GRIFS ASS! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASSUME THAT? Why would you even…Noooooooooooooo?”

Your hand made hard contact with your face, after you realised your huge mistake. Not just once though, you made sure to punish yourself multiple times. You presumed, since you couldn’t see beneth the helmet, Washington gave you a weird look.

“Okay…I just wanted to know if you’ve seen Tucker.”

“Tucker? Yeah.” You were too ashamed to even look at him, so instead pointed to where you saw them go off to. “He’s with Kimball, pretty sure.”

“Okay.” Washington nodded, “thank you.”

“Oh wait, Washington.” There was no way you could let him leave just like that. “Uh, do you reckon…like, uh…don’t tell Grif please?” Washington stared at you for a few seconds before starting to walk away.

“I think it’s too late for that.” A “huh” left your lips as Washington walked away. You knew what he meant, the implications behind his words, but you didn’t want to turn around and see it.

“So…what was all that about staring at my ass.” Ugh, you just wanted to die. Right now you weren’t sure which was worse. Grif hearing you, or Grif catching you staring at his ass. Trick question, they were both equally bad.

“Uh, well…you know.” Grif raised his eyebrows.

“No, I don’t.”

“As if I’d check out your ass! Like, why would I waste time staring at that perfectly amazing, plump…thing. FUCKING SHIT!” You could only sigh to yourself. “You, dirty reds are good at interrogating!”

“Washington is a blue.”

“LIKE I SAID, DIRTY REDS!” After you screaming that, the two of you just stood in awkward silence. With you shuffling and Grif regaining his breath.

“So…my ass?”

“It’s pretty damn fine.” You might as well go with it since you’ve already fucked up hard enough.

“Cool. Yours is pretty okay. “

“Yeah…cool…cooooooooool. Cool…c-c-c-c-cooool. Cool like the sea. Cool like a summer breeze. Just…cool.” An even more awkward silence followed your “cools”, only to be broken by Grif after a few more seconds passed.

“You wanna just make out?”

“Fuck yes.”


	18. 33. Seeing Red (Red team)

**Words: 538**

**Characters: Grif, Simmons, Sarge, Donut and Lopez**

**Romantic: No**

All you could see was red. And, not even the metaphorical red bullshit, all you could literally see was red.

“Grif you fucking idiot! YOU GOT THE WRONG BLUE! Sarge is going to be so angry.” Wait no, now you were both metaphorically and literally seeing red.  If you weren’t tied to the chair, you were pretty sure the walls would be covered in red.

“And? He told me to get one of the blues, I got a blue.”

“Yeah, but this one is a…” Simmons glanced at you and when he saw that you were staring directly at you, he looked away quickly. “You know how Sarge is around… _them_!”

“Dude, that’s fucking weak. Just say fucking girl!”              

“It doesn’t matter either way!” Simmons seemed to be trying to whisper but anyone could tell that wasn’t working.

“What are we supposed to do?”

“Return her! We return her and take another blue.”

“You can’t fucking do that!” Grif shouted, obviously confused and angered.

“Well, we have to do something before Sarge finds out.”

“Before I find out what?” Simmons stood attention the second he realised Sarge had arrived. This made Grif sigh heavily, cringe and roll his eyes.

“Sir! Grif here got the wrong prisoner.”

“Grrriiif.” Sarge looked at you, looking for an answer, which cause the other two to look at you.

“You’re all fucking idiots.” You said.

“Grif! Of all the dirty blues, you got the defenceless little lady!”

“Huh? Defenceless? Little? Man, and I thought my team was fucking stupid!” You were going to lose it and, that only increased when they ignored you.

“Well, what are we going to do?”

“Sir, I recommend that we return her back to base and trade her with another blue!”

“You can’t fucking trade prisoners! THAT’S NOT HOW KIDNAPPING WORKS!”

“Great idea Simmons! Grif, why aren’t you more like him?” Grif groaned in his helmet.

“Because Simmons is a massive kiss ass.” You could see Simmons was going to talk, but you choice to just ignore them now. If you didn’t, you know you’d have gotten angrier.

Ten minutes passed, and they were still arguing. You were extremely close to breaking but, when you saw pink armour, you were so happy.

“Donut!” Your desperate voice caught only the attention of Donut and a man in brownish armour.

“Oh hey (L/N)! What are you doing here?” He was smiling and you could feel the positivity radiating off him.

“You know, the usual! Getting kidnapped, etc. etc.” You said that light heartily but Donut could taste the toxicity in your words.

“That’s cool! Lopez and I were just jerking our sticks in the Warthog! Boy that was fun!”

“Idiota, no hacer que suene tan sexual (Idiot, don’t make it so sexual).”

“What did his say?” You asked.

“” That does not sound stupid sex.”” Oh, that was weird.

“Cool. So…how long do you think they’ll be?” You were honestly intrigued.

“Estos idiotas suelen tener tres horas (These idiots usually take three hours).”

“Lopez said roughly three hours.” If you could, you would’ve nodded. “Since we’re going to be here for so long, want me to finish your nails.”

“Hm…sure. Could I get it in a pink?”

“You mean lightish red?


	19. 100. Endings (Maine + Sigma)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: If I write more than two chapters a day, the second was written 10 minutes before I sleep (usually 2:50am)

**Words: 821**

**Characters: Maine and Sigma**

**Romantic: Yes**

Sigma used to see it.

He saw that you had lost all will to live, all will to function. He knew that you thought It was hard, too hard. It was painful, too painful. Life, no not life, the people that lived life. They had broken you, they had made you irreparable, unbreakable, because there was nothing to break.

But, that wasn’t the case anymore. Yes, you were sill broken, but now you were better, better than before. He could see Maine’s impact. He could see, how piece by piece, Maine was putting you back together and vice versa.

You were holding Maine back, stopping him from becoming The Meta. He had to find a way to stop you, if not that, break you. Anything, to become the Meta.

All he had to do was crack you.  


It was another day at the MOI, you were intending to hang out with your boyfriend, Maine. You weren’t feeling too hot today but you knew that Maine could change that. When you got there, the scene that greeted you wasn’t exactly what you wanted. Maine was there, but so was Sigma, out in the open. That only meant one thing.

“You have a headache Maine?” Just then he noticed you, must’ve been one bad headache.

You got a nod in response, which left you shuffling awkwardly for a bit.

“Agent Kentucky, is something that matter?” You had been trying to ignore him, but he just wouldn’t leave it at that would he?

“N-No, nothing. I just came to talk to Maine about something.”

“It doesn’t seem like that’s all.”

“Excuse me?”

Well, you’re tense and your heartrate is above what should be considered normal.” You shifted in your spot nervously hoping Sigma didn’t notice. He did.

“Oh, uh, it’s just been a hard…day.” You flinched back as Sigma appeared in front of you.

“Perhaps it is because you’re afraid of me.” He noticed the way you tense, how your body wouldn’t stop moving.

“W-What? No! Why would-”

“You think I’m a monster? Wait no, not me, Maine?”

“N-No I don’t! Why-”

“I see, so you’re afraid of him. When did it start? Did it start when Maine got me? No, I can see it, it was way before that.”

“DON’T LIE! YOU DON’T KNOW THAT.” Shit, you sounded way too hysterical.

“I do, because Kentucky, we are more alike than you think.”

“No WE’RE N-”

“We’re both alone.”

“I HAVE MAINE!”

“We’re both broken.”

“I’M NO-”

“And we’re both fragments of a person we used to be.”

“STOP INTERUPTING ME! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!” You didn’t even bother to hear his response before running off in hysterics with so many questions were running through your head.

What was Maine doing? Why wasn’t he defending you? Was Sigma right? Did Maine not actually care? There was no way that was the truth…right?

Little did you know that, in that situation, Maine was not in control.

 

Maine didn’t know what he expected when he walked into your room. He was desperate to see you, to have you in him arms. When he walked by it was quiet so, maybe you reading a book or just patiently waiting for him as you usually did. He really wished that’s what it was.

Blood. Blood everywhere. On the walls, on your bed and on the carpet. He was panicking because there was no way any human being could live after losing that much blood. He started by calling out, or in his case grunting, your name hopelessly. He had been on countless of missions but never had he been this scared before.

He continued walking around your room and calling your name until he saw it. The bathroom light, on, with blood on the handle. He was hoping, begging to dear god that you didn’t do it.

It took all his willpower to manoeuvre himself to the door. It took more than that to open the door. But, it took even more than that to hold in his tears as he saw you.

In your bathtub, a knife in hand with slit wrist. Oh god, he was going to vomit.

 How could you have done this?

Why did you do that?

Why…why didn’t you let him help?

“Agent Maine.” He didn’t look up to see Sigma there. “Condolences for the loss. It’s very unfortunate Agent Kentucky had to go this way.”

 Maine said nothing, he didn’t even move.

“This may not be the right time but Agent Kentucky told me something before.” Sigma knew he peaked Maine’s interest. “She told me that Project Freelancer was putting a strenuous amount of stress on her. I could imagine that this is the reason she…”

_Freelancer did this?_

“It’s just an assumption but…if you like, I can help you get revenge.”

_You can?_

“Yes, all I need to do is borrow your mind and body for the tiniest bit.”


	20. 42. Agitation (Wyoming)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of 98. Game (Wyoming)
> 
> It’s been a bit serious lately. Let’s get a cute one here. Since I plan on writing a sequel (to a sequel), I’m giving the reader a name (state name).

 

**Words: 292**

**Characters: York, North and (mentioned) Washington and Wyoming**

**Romantic: Implied**

**Fun fact: I love everybody equally but South and Carolina. I hate them…so much.**

You, York and north were sitting around the table, eating breakfast. It was a quiet morning, with the three of you being the only ones awake. You were parallel to them both, casually munching on your favourite treat.

“So…” York started off. You were only barely paying attention because you thought he was talking to North. “Vermont,” Oh, so he was talking to you.

“Hm?”

“There are some…” York put his hand on his chin as he contemplated the appropriate words. “Rumours. Yeah. There are some rumours going around.” You raised a singular eyebrow.

“Okay…uh, cool?”

“Rumours…about…you…” York coughed into his hand multiple times and you could only stare at him utterly confused.

“Okay…?”

“And…Wyoming.” You sat there for a few seconds, processing the information given to you. Rumours, okay. Rumours about you, okay. Rumours about you and…

“WASHINGTON! YOU LITTLE SHIT!” You, suddenly standing up, caused both York and North to jump.

“It’s true then?” North’s question made you stutter ever so slightly, you bet they barely noticed.

“W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT? NO! NO! NOOOOOO! AB-ABOLUTELY NOT!” You weren’t too obvious…were you?

The looks they gave you definitely implied something else.

“Don’t think of it as embarrassing Vermont.” You looked at North who had a reassuring smile on his face. “I find it cute.”

“Thank North, but no, we’re not dating.”

“Unfortunately.” York tried, and failed, to mutter underneath his breath.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Vermont and Wyoming is one of the biggest ships going around.” Your jaw was open so wide you were sure it hit it the ground.

“S-Since when?”

“Since Washington told us.” North said which boiled up your blood.

“WASHINGTON! I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I FIND YOU, I’LL…. I’LL, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO, BUT IT’LL BE BAD. VERY BAD!”


	21. 90. Nowhere and Nothing (Felix)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had this amazing idea, imagine…kidish Felix! I intend to make a sequel and maybe a few sequels to those sequels. And what’s this? I got one out before 3 am? A miracle I tell you!

**Words: 924**

**Characters: Young Felix/Isaac**

**Romantic: I don’t know (it was supposed to be romantic but…¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)**

Texas, Lubbock, the most boring place on earth, well in your opinion. Great jobs, great real estate, just great for hard working adults. You were not an adult, quite the opposite in fact. You were not a child, but could barely be considered a teenager in a place filled with adults.

Texas, Lubbock, the most boring place on earth, the place you lived in.

Well, most of the time it was boring. That was during the times you didn’t see _him._

You just called him, trouble maker, because that’s what everyone else did. You knew his name, Isaac, but you didn’t know what his age was, or who he was. He was just someone who always caused trouble.

Your mum had warned you, told you to not even look at the “kid”, but you couldn’t. He was the only one that wasn’t stuck up, the only one that wasn’t disgustingly boring. You wanted to talk to him, you had to talk to him, but that wasn’t possible.

Not until now.

“Who the heck, are you?” Nightmares kept you up, so you went to get something from the kitchen. You certainly did not expect to see trouble maker in your house, at 2 am.

He turned around quickly from _your_ fridge, and you saw his...cocky face.

“Oh…” Trouble maker slicked back his hair and you couldn’t help watching him movements very carefully. Yeah, he was hot, but he broke into your house so hormones were going to be ignored today.

“Oh what?”

“Oh, you caught me, whoops.” Your mouth was left open slightly open, as you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“You just got caught breaking and entering and all you can say is whoops?”

“Technically, I haven’t broken anything, so it’s just me entering, and you can’t arrest me for entering.” A few awkward seconds of silence went on as you just stared at trouble maker.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m fucking amazing.” You pinched the bridge of your nose before sighing.

“Well, since you’re here, have a seat.” He stood there awkwardly as if he didn’t understand what you said. “Well?” Still no answer so you sighed before just sitting on the stool parallel to the fridge, where he was still standing.

“That’s not usually how people react to getting robbed.”

“Yeah.” You said. “I feel like this is probably going to be the most interesting thing to happen in this crap hole.”

“True, it is pretty fucking boring here.” You swung your legs off the stool as you observed your robber.

“Nice to see you rocking the hideous haircut.”

“EXCUSE-” You shushed him with wide eyes, “excuse me?” Now you could see his hair clearly as he moved his face from _your_ fridge.

“Yeah, I really hate it. Hey, this is probably abrupt and not relevant to this conversation, but how old are you?” He scoffed.

“Too old for your tiny ass.”

“EXCUSE-” Trouble maker shushed you with a wide smile that made you frown deeply. “Excuse you, I’m not a kid.”

“Bullshit. Adults don’t say crap hole or heck, we say shit hole and fuck.”

“I-I can swear, easily.”

“Yeah? Go ahead kid.”

“…F…F…Friggen! FRIGGEN HECK!” Trouble maker covered his mouth to muffle his laughs, you could tell it was going to be a loud one.

He went on, wheezing dryly, for a few more seconds before seemingly calming himself down.

“Holy shit kid! YOU’RE FUCKING-” You shushed him so he began whisper shouting. “You’re fucking hilarious!”

“Wow.” You rolled your eyes with your arms crossed. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”  He was still controlling his laughter before he saw your pouting face.

“Aw kid, no need to act so sad.”

“I’M NOT A KID.” You said with through gritted teeth.

“How old are you then?”

“15 and a half.” The awkward wheezing laughter started once again.

“Holy shit, you’re almost 16 and you don’t swear.” You, once again, rolled your eyes and grit your teeth.

“I think now is a good time to leave, I think I might accidently call the cops.”

“Accidently? Man, I like you kid, maybe we’ll see each other again.” He held out his hand for you to shake but you only stared at it.

“Hopefully not.” He still hadn’t retracted his hand and was still grinning.

“Isaac Gates, 17 years old, nice to meet you…?” You still just stared at his hand before not caring anymore.

“(F/N) (L/N), 15 and a half years old…” It took you a sec but you finally shook his hand. “This is probably the worst first impression someone has made on me.” He retracted his hand, while smirking, and made his way to your front door.

You expected him to leave but he just stood there silently for a few seconds.

“Hey…kid.”

“For the last time-” Something, that felt like a book, met your face. “SON OF A-”

“Since I like you. Tell your mum to keep it somewhere safer.”  Because your eyes were still stinging, you could only hear the door close instead of seeing Isaac leave.

You rubbed your eyes a few time before looking down at what he had thrown at you. What was so important that he was to...

“Holy fucking shit.” It was your mum’s life savings…and half of it was missing. “FUCK!” You heard a sharp intake at the top of the stairs to see your mother standing there…oh shit.

“HONEY, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?” SHE WAS AWAKE? AT 2 AM? “AND WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR HANDS?”

Fuck…how were you going to explain this?


	22. 68. Energetic (Caboose)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to do a sister one shot, then I realised I haven’t shown any love for Caboose. So I’m going down the list, doing one for each person I haven’t. Next one will be sister. If you want to know the order, go here (http://blackzucchini.tumblr.com/oneshots). I’m also extremely sick (vomiting, crying while vomiting, vomiting while crying, a lot of crying), so, sorry if this isn’t great.

**Words: 162**

**Characters: Caboose**

**Romantic: Not really**

“CABOOSE DON’T TURN AROUND!” As he heard your voice Caboose obediently stood entirely still.

“OKAY!” Just as he shouted that, you took a little run up and jumped on Caboose’s back. Instinctively he grabbed your legs and held you steady.

“Whoo! NOW! RIDE FORWARD MY STALION!”

“OKAY!”

 

“CABOOSE!” Caboose, who was surrounded by his friends, suddenly turned to look at you. You were running towards him. “CATCH ME!”

“OKAY!” Caboose held out his hands to catch your figure. When he did, you grinned and giggled.

“SPIN ME!”

“OKAY!”

“Rookie, FUCK OFF!” Church’s yells were drowned out in your laughing.

 

Caboose and Washington were having a small conversation with each other. You weren’t sure what it involved but you certainly didn’t care.

“CABOOSE!” The second Washington heard your voice, he sighed heavily in side of his helmet.

“Oh dear god.”

“GIVE ME A HUG!” You, ignoring him, ran past Washington to Caboose who has his hands wide open.

“OKAY!”

“NOW SPIN ME!”

“OKAY!”


	23. 12. Dead Wrong (Sister)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not even joking; my dream came up with this idea. I’m feeling much better today, hopefully a double update, Sheila is next.

**Words: 350**

**Characters: Sister**

**Romantic: Not really**

 

When you met Grif, and he talked about his sister, you expected them to be similar in some aspect. Yes, he said that she wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the shed (his words not yours), but you didn’t expect that big of a difference. Personality wise that is. But boy were you dead wrong.

Sometimes that girl just says the darndest things, not that you were any better yourself.

 

“Hey Sister.”

“Yeh?”

“Have you ever tried drinking bleach?”  It was a legitimate question you wanted an answer to. Someone once told you, bleach does destroy the brain, but that was Caboose…so?

“Nah, but I’ve drank a hole gallon something else that was white…that was hot.”

“Oh, c-wait what?”

 

“IT’S FUCKING SEXISM, BECAUSE WE’RE WOMEN! THEY WON’T LESS US JOIN THEM!” You looked up from your book to see Sister standing there frustrated and annoyed.

“Won’t let us join what exactly?”

“JERKING THEIR STICKS!” An ‘oh’ left your mouth as you placed your book down on your lap.

“I’m going to take a wild guess, and say that Donut said that.”

“The pink one?”

“No the lightest red.”

“That’s not red, do you want to see red?” Sister hands went to her skirt in an attempt to pull them down.

“NO! Please, no Sister! I know what red is.”

“Awww, it’s not as red as before. You should’ve seen it after my ex-boyfriend and I-”

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION SISTER!”

 Sister removed her hands from her waist and rested them at her sides.

“IT’S STILL BULLSHIT! JUST BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T JERK MY STICK! I’VE DONE IT BEFORE!”

“That’s…enlightening! But I think Donut was messing with you.” You thought for a second before muttering the next part underneath your breath. “I hope he was messing with you. But, that’s not the point. I’m pretty sure, dearly hoping I’m right, that they’re refilming that movie for Tucker.”

“AND THEY DIDN’T CAST US! BECAUSE WE’RE WOMEN!”

“That movie doesn’t star any women.”

“BECAUSE OF MALE SUPREMACY! DOWN WITH MALE SUPREMACY!”

“Sis-”

“WOMEN HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH! END WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE!”

“Sister…”

 

 


	24. 76. Thankful (Sheila)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE BOIS! Sarge is supposed to be next, but I’ve had an amazing Simmons one short planned for too long.

**Words: 375**

**Characters: Sheila and Tucker**

**Romantic: No**

 

“Oh, thank you Sheila, um, it’s really…great?” You looked down at the package you received. It has the words “Happy birthday (Y/N)” sprawled on the front of it…how did she even write that?

“It is no problem.”

“Ha, you’re like my mum. Only nice…and caring…and compassionate…and you don’t neglect me…or emotionally abuse me. Man, you’re like my mum, only cool!”

“Your mum was a 500-pound tank?” From the left side of you, Tucker asked.       

“Well, she-she was…” you signed a little, “uhh, how do I put it…she’s a little…” You trailed off making weird sounds.

“A little what?” Tucker pushed on.

"…My mother is a bit…corpulent."

"What, your mother’s a corpse?”

"No, she's a bit...well built."

"She's a body builder?"

"She's sturdy."

"So your mother is a tank?"

"NO, FAT! MY MOTHER IS FAT!” Tucker made a sound that seemed like verbal realisation.

"Oh so like Church?”

"What, no that’s just rude. My mother isn’t that fat.” From the other side of the base Church perked up.

“HEY, FUCK YOU BUDDY!” Tucker held his first out and you bumped him backed before looking back at Shelia.

“Sorry for getting side tracked, it might not sound like it, but I really do appreciate it. This is the first birthday present I’ve ever gotten and the best.”

“You haven’t even opened it.”

“Shut the fuck up Tucker, you can complain when you get me a birthday present.” You smiled smugly as Tucker said nothing. “We’re so alike Sheila.”

“What you’re a 500-pound tank?” You chose to ignore Tucker.

“You’ve been neglected, I’ve been neglected. We’re practically twins.”

“Yes, us girls have to stick together.” Tucker looked between you two.

“You girls aren’t thinking of a female uprising are you?” You looked at Shelia and she looked at you. You both stared at each other, communicating through eye (?) contact.

“Nobody-” You started off.

“-Would dare impose us.” Sheila finished off for you. A grin made its way on your face as she finished.

“Thanks for the idea Tucker!” You began running off. “Sheila, I’ll get Sister, you get Tex okay?” Sheila nodded (?) before rolling (?) off to the direction Tex would be in, leaving Tucker standing there alone.

“Uh, oh, better go and tell Church about this.”

 


	25. 38. Burning (Simmons): School AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long; I’m just experimenting with my writing style. I might make a continuation to this one, but I’m 100% that I’m making a school Au for most of the characters.

Words: 355  
Characters: Simmons  
Romantic: Yes-ish  
His mouth felt dry, his cheeks were flushed and heart was constantly fluctuating at your presence. He couldn’t stop shaking and stuttering and, although he would never admit it, he felt like crying.  
Why was Simmons like this exactly? Well, because of you.  
“AND ACTION!” A few seconds of absolute silence passed before Tucker repeated himself. “ACTION!”  
Again, nobody said anything.  
“Simmons! It’s your line!” Simmons seemed to be jolted out of his trance by Tucker, as he began nervously shuffling with this paper.  
“Uh,” he coughed heavily into his closed fist, trying to calm himself.  
“HURRY THE FUCK UP, I WANT TO GO!” If you weren’t here Simmons would’ve retorted to Grif’s remark.  
“Come on Simmons, it’s okay.” You said, but it wasn’t okay. He only got more nervous when you spoke. “Simmons, just read out your lines directly from your script. It’s okay.”   
Your reassuring smile helped him calm down, but your smile nearly reversed all of that.  
He took in a deep breath and signaled to Tucker again.  
“Ugh, you better be ready now. ACTION!”  
You stood there, parallel to Simmons, coping his pose; with a script in hand.  
“(L-L-L/N), you’re a-a-a ve-very dirty girl?” Simmons pitch increased by a few octaves as he finished.  
There were a few seconds of silence before everyone had burst into some sort of hysterical laughter.  
“TUCKER, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Simmons didn’t receive an immediate answer, because of the laughing, but Tucker did eventually answer him.  
“Dud, do you even listen during our meetings?”  
“I THINK HE’S TOO BUSY GAZING PASSIONATELY AT (L/N)!” Church’s statement was followed by an abundance of laughter and giggles.  
Simmons just stood there with his face bright red and heart thumping. He couldn’t take this anymore; this was too embarrassing for him. Another crush he was going to have to repress.  
“S-SIMMONS!” He didn’t hear you as he dashed off. After he left you turned around to face your so called friends. “Guys that was so mean!”  
Grif raised his eyes brow.  
“You were laughing the loudest.”  
“SHUT THE FUCK UP DEXTER! I CAN’T HELP WHAT I FIND FUNNY!”


	26. 44. Astonished (Blue team)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little change to that format. Instead of romantic, I’ll specify what kind of one shot it is. Spent 3 days thinking of a Sarge one shot, came up with so many more ideas that weren't him.

**Words:  407**

**Characters: Tucker, Church and Caboose**

**Genre: Comedic**

“And, that’s how I, Eskimo-flavour monster Alice Joanna Kendra Georgia Cunningham the fifth of the seventeenth battalion of Joseph, prevented the dirty Martians, of Neptune, from conquering Neptune.”

You took in a proud breath as you miraculously finished your totally true and historically accurate tale.  Your pride quickly turned into somewhat confusion as you surveyed the expressions of your teammates.

“What?” There was silence, until Tucker seemed to break out of his daze.

“What…the fuck?” As he said this, Church seemed to be snapped out of his daze next.

“That’s bullshit!”

“I’ve got to agree with Church there,” Tucker started, “especially the part about saving Neptune from the Neptunians.”

“Neptuni-what? They were the locals of Mars from Neptune, dipshit.” You said.

“So they’re Neptunians?”

“No? They’re Martians.”  Tucker was going to say something about that but decided not to even bother and change the conversation.

“Let’s say _that’s_ true. Your name is definitely not Eskimo-flavour monster the seventeenth, or whatever. “

“How the fuck do you know? Huh, Lavernius? My name could be Jason Saldaña or Burnie Burns for all you know!” You got a “what the fuck” look form Church.

“But it’s not!”

“How do you know?”

“First of all, your name is (L/N) not Eskimo whatever the fuck that is. And, nobody would call their child that, THAT’S JUST FUCKING STUPID!” As he said this, his voice raised in a few octaves.

“Pfft, I didn’t think anyone would call their child Leonard but, here we are!”

“HEY, FUCK YOU! I GET ENOUGH SHIT FROM EVERYONE DAILY, YOU THINK-”

“Church, calm down.” Tucker had to pat the man child, in an attempt to calm him. That seemed to work. With that finished, he turned back to you. “So, Eskimo flavour-”

“I was just joking around, don’t actually call me that. It’s fucking retarded.”

“SON OF A-”

“What part of your story was actually true?” You stood there pondering Tuckers question while stroking your chin.

“Whichever parts Caboose believed in.” All attention was now put on an unusually quiet Caboose.

“Oh, uh…I liked the part where Church was my best friend!” Cute.

“CABOOSE! THAT WASN’T IN THE FUCKING STORY! AND EVEN IF IT WAS, I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND.” You smirked at Church.

“Yes it was Church.” You said matter of fact manner. “It was right next to the part about my 58 divorces.”

“FUCKING-FUCK! YOU KNOW WHAT? I’LL BELIEVE YOU THE DAY TUCKER GIVES BIRTH!”


	27. Imagines # 1 (EVERYONE)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's a bit longer than usual.  
> A little something for everyone, one liner imagines with every character I could think of.  
> Words: 577  
> Characters: Tucker, Caboose, Church, Sister, Sheila, Sarge, Simmons, Grif, Lopez, Donut, Washington (Pre and Post Project Freelancer), Carolina, North, South, C.T, York, Florida, Maine, Texas, Epsilon, Gamma, Sigma, Theta, Delta, Sharkface, Felix, Locus, Siris, Doyle, Grey, Kimball, Jensen, Bitters, Palomo, Andersmith, Matthews, Doc, The Director, V.I.C, 479-er, Freckles, The counsellor.  
> Genre: Romantic, Comedic and angst-y

** Blue team **

**Tucker**

Imagine Tucker saying “Bow chika bow wow” less because of you.

 

**Caboose**

Imagine Caboose  _trying_ not to kill you (and obviously failing).

 

**Church**

Imagine Church valuing you more than Tex.

**Sister**

Imagine Sister finding you hot (hotter than everyone else).

 

**Sheila**

Imagine you crossing Sheila’s circuits.

** Red team **

**Sarge**

Imagine Sarge disobeying command just for you.

**Simmons**

Imagine Simmons nearly choosing you over Sarge.

**Grif**

Imagine Grif never wondering why he was here whenever you’re around.

**Lopez**

Imagine Lopez changing his language settings to English when he’s with you in private.

**Donut**

Imagine Donut making you go light-ish red (There’s an innuendo somewhere).

 

** Freelancers **

**Washington**

**Pre-Freelancer:** Imagine Wash hanging out with you even if you’re with the triplets.

 **Post-Freelancer:**  Imagine him sometimes making you do less exercise than Tucker.

**Carolina**

Imagine Carolina forgetting about her rank to save you.

**North**

Imagine North showering you with kisses whenever one of you got back from a mission.

**South**

Imagine South watching her temper around you.

**C.T**

Imagine C.T letting you all her Connie even when she’s angry.

**York**

Imagine you bringing York out of his depression.

**Wyoming**

Imagine Wyoming letting you touch his moustache.

**Florida**

Imagine Florida conveniently forgetting about the chain of command just to kiss you.

**Maine**

Imagine Maine and The Meta agreeing not to hurt you.

 

**Texas**

Imagine your death being Tex’s biggest failure.

** A.I **

 

**Epsilon**

Imagine Epsilon always remembering you

 

**Gamma**

Imagine Gamma trying to pick you up with knock-knock jokes.

**Omega/O’Malley**

Imagine O’Malley only possessing you when someone flirts with you.

**Sigma**

Imagine Sigma thinking up creative dates for you two.

**Theta**

Imagine Theta only showing  _you_ his special tricks.

 

**Delta**

Imagine Delta ignoring logic just for you.

** Mercs **

**Sharkface**

Imagine Sharkface calling you bait because you always hook and reel him in.

**Felix**

Imagine you picking up Felix at the club and your relationship only getting kinkier from there.

**Locus**

Imagine you being the reason Locus is a merc.

**Siris**

Imagine Siris saving you, despite you being a criminal.

 

** Feds **

**Doyle**

Imagine Doyle showing courage whenever you’re present.

**Dr.Grey**

Imagine Grey toning down her craziness to “psychoanalyse” you.

** New Republic **

 

**Kimball**

Imagine Kimball hating the feds because they took you from her.

**Jensen**

Imagine Jensen inviting you for a drive in (she’s driving).

**Bitters**

Imagine Bitters running for you.

**Palomo**

Imagine Palomo asking Tucker for tips on how to pick you up.

**Andersmith**

Imagine you being Andersmith’s inspiration.

**Matthews**

Imagine Matthews desperately trying to get your attention.

** Miscellaneous **

**Doc**

Imagine Doc ignoring his pacifism just to protect you.

**The director**

Imagine the director grieving over your death.

**V.I.C**

Imagine V.I.C creating an episode just for you.

**Four seven niner**

Imagine Four seven niner giving you  _very_ personal pilot lessons.

**Freckles**

Imagine having a Mantis as your best friend or boyfriend (if you’re into that, I’m not judging).

**The counsellor**

Imagine The counsellor letting you call him Aiden.

 

** Extra’s (My favourites from season 14) **

**Peake**

Imagine him letting you have a little peake.

**Santos**

Imagine setting up a wine bar together.

 

**Ohio**

Imagine Ohio wanting to be the best because she wanted your attention.

 

**Iowa and Idaho**

  1. Imagine Iowa losing air again just from looking at you.
  2. Imagine Idaho being the second worst next to you.
  3. Imagine Iowa somehow  _always_ missing you when he crashes the mongeese.
  4. Imagine Idaho wanting to work with you in his team.
  5. Imagine Iowa being purposely loud when he’s around you.



 


	28. 10. Opportunities (Wyoming + Gamma)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It isn’t an endless loop (I hope) so no time clones. Also, out of my 4 fans, are any of you male? Because I feel like there’s a distinct lack of male reader x female characters. If you are, don’t hesitate to request, I feel comfortable writing them. Don’t hesitate to request even if you don’t meet those requirements (That includes if you’ve requested before). Anyway, enjoy!

**It isn’t an endless loop (I hope) so no time clones. Also, out of my 4 fans, are any of you male? Because I feel like there’s a distinct lack of male reader x female characters. If you are, don’t hesitate to request, I feel comfortable writing them. Don’t hesitate to request even if you don’t meet those requirements (That includes if you’ve requested before). Anyway, enjoy!**

**Words: 647**

**Characters:**

**Genre: Romantic and (slightly) Comedic**

Wyoming and Gamma had both done a lot of dumb things in their lifetimes. Wyoming’s were relatively small (mistakes on mission, etc.) while Gamma’s were larger (Alpha’s torture), but there was something they could both agree on. It was that disobeying the director by using their time distortion to pick you up, was their biggest mistake.

They would have only done it once; it you weren’t so complicated.

 

So, here they were again, with you fiddling with your helmet, facing away from the two.

“ **KNOCK-KNOCK.** ” You turned around, cringing at seeing the both of them, Gamma blue and Wyoming brazen.

“Who’s there?” As per usual your tone was so bland it could rival Gamma.

“ **SHISNO**.” You sighed angrily while rolling your eyes.

“You’re a dirty, dirty Shisno. Yeah, I got it the first **_ten_** times Gary.” You knew teaching him Sangheli was a very bad idea.

“Love,” you turn to Wyoming, “I still don’t understand why you insist on calling my A.I Gary.” You just shrugged.

“I wonder the same thing whenever I’m called a Shisno.” Your face was somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “I don’t know, if Omega is going by O’Malley, I might as well give Gamma a cool name too. But,” you dismissively waved your hand in front of your face, “that’s beside the point. What brings you two here?”

Wyoming’s lips morphed into a smirk underneath his _amazing_ moustache.

“We just wanted to see your beautiful face.” A raise of your eyebrows and the rolling of your eyes.

“Yeah sure.” You say before turning around.

Looks like he had to restart.

 

“I wonder the same thing whenever I’m called a Shisno.” Your face was somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “I don’t know, if Omega is going by O’Malley, I might as well give Gamma a cool name too. But,” you dismissively waved your hand in front of your face, “that’s beside the point. What brings you two here?”

“ **WE JUST WANTED TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE**.” You threw a surprised look at the blue A.I.

That was unusually kind of Gamma.

“Thank-?”

“ **JUST KIDDING. HA. HA. HA.** ” Each laugh caused your content, bashful even, smile to transform into one of bitterness and anger.

“WOW, THANKS!”

Looks like another restart.

 

“I wonder the same thing whenever I’m called a Shisno.” Your face was somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “I don’t know, if Omega is going by O’Malley, I might as well give Gamma a cool name too. But,” you dismissively waved your hand in front of your face, “that’s beside the point. What brings you two here?”

“Just popping by to see what you’re doing.” You raise your eyebrows.

“Eh, nothing important.” Then turn around.

 

“I wonder the same thing whenever I’m called a Shisno.” Your face was somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “I don’t know, if Omega is going by O’Malley, I might as well give Gamma a cool name too. But,” you dismissively waved your hand in front of your face, “that’s beside the point. What brings you two here?”

“ **JUST POPPING BY TO SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING.”** Wyoming gave a weird look towards the blue A.I, obviously wondering why he was quoting him directly despite that approach just failing.

“Oh, thank-?”

“ **JUST KIDDING YOU DIRTY SHISNO. HA. HA. HA** ”

 

“ **KNOCK-KNOCK.”**

“Who’s there?”

“ **WOULD YOU.”**

“Would I who?”

“ **WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US IN BED TONIGHT?”**

You look at Gamma and Wyoming with wide eyes, and a slight blush, before they quickly narrowed.

“You’re using time distortion, aren’t you?”

“How did you come to that conclusion love?”

“Gary didn’t call me a Shisno. I doubt he would miss that chance.”

“Quite perspective my dear. What can I say? You are quite complicated” You sigh heavily before going back to your fiddling.

“I’m going to assume you already know how to pick me up…Gary.”


	29. 66. Fine (Church)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sick, again! I started writing this one shot and it was like, “oh shit another Church still loves Tex one shot, fuck me!” So I had to change the ending, not sure if I’m satisfied with it, but It’s better than the other one.

**Words: 469**

**Characters: Church**

**Genre: Romantic and angst-y**

You constantly told yourself that you didn’t like Church, constantly denied it. You were in a love hate relationship with him. It always, Church said something, you insulted him and you two would start bickering back and forth. You enjoyed that relationship, wanted it to stay like that but, your mind obviously didn’t want that.

“Church is really looking nice today isn’t he?”

“Oh I hope he notices me!”

“He just talked to me instead of someone else!”

There was no stopping what the heart wanted.

Church was rude, loud, obnoxious and, most importantly, he was an asshole. But, he was also occasionally aware, loyal, selfless and funny. And that’s what your heart fell for…stupid heart.

 

“HEY, ROOKIE!” Ah, the voice of the man who always made your heart race.

“WHHHHAT?”

“GET OVER HERE!”

“GET OVER WHERE?”

“HERE!”

“WHERE IS HERE?”

“ROOKIE JUST FUCKING GET HERE, NOW!” You smirked to yourself before walking to where you _knew_ Church would be.

“You called Church?” You raised your eyebrow as Church said nothing for a few seconds. “Uh, hellloooo?”

“So…you, uh, like me?” The abrupt question caused your eyes too open dramatically

“Huh? How did you come to that conclusion?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me,” Oh wow, looks like Church was more perspective than you though, “oh and Tucker told me.” Perspective?

“Oh…so, your response?”

“So it _is_ true?”

“I guess.”

“What do you like about me? Yeah, I understand that I’m the best-” Your glare stopped him mid-sentence and you could only sigh heavily after the seconds of silence.

“I dunno. There’s a lot I fucking despise about you-”

“Wow, thanks for that!”

“ _But_ there are also things that are good about you. Things that make me…hate you less.” You couldn’t tell but you though Church was smirking. It was really hard to tell with your visors.

“Let me be honest, I don’t like you, at all.”

“Wow, you really know how to make a girl smile.”

“And I’m still…you know, with Tex.”

“Yes, we all know you’re still in love with her! Is there really a need for this?”

“Just let me fucking finish would you?” You rolled your eyes but let him finish nonetheless. “I don’t like you, I fucking hate you.”

“Whatever, I’m fine with that! I hate you-”

“ _BUT_ if we spend some time together, I feel like…I could hate you less.”

“Just hate me less?”

“Of course, you’re still a huge bitch. You fine with that?”

“Not as fine as you.” Church seemingly cringed.

“Ewww, you know confessing to me doesn’t make that right?”

“Hm…guess I’m fine with _that_.” A pair of eyes narrowed at you.

“What do you mean, _that_?” You hummed a little.

“Prepare yourself Leonard Church because I am about to win your heart…your non-existent heart.”

“HEY, FUCK YOU!”

           


	30. 13. Confused (Sarge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanna write a Sarge one where you go flirting with the blues just to piss him off. Next is either, freelancers/A.I’s reactions to a kiss, school AU Doc, freelancer imagines, something with the girls for the guys or a South one shot.

**Words: 331**

**Characters: Sarge**

**Genre: (attempting) comedic**

Blood gulch was a decrepit canyon, a decrepit boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere. It was the only canyon (in space) you had been in but you knee nothing would top it absurdity. It wasn’t the canyon that was absurd but, it was the people. Specifically, Sarge.

Sarge was something else. He was like an annoyingly protective father.

 

“Get in formation dirt bag!” Sarge pointed his shot gun at his least liked person.

“I am not being (L/N)’s fucking meat-shield!” You could only send Grif a sympathetic look as          Sarge held a shot gun to his head.

“Come on Grif,” you started off, “do this favour for me.”

“FAVOUR? I’M NOT FUCKING DO IT!” To yours (and Sarge’s) surprise, Grif fled, leaving you and the rest of red team standing there.

“Since that dirt bag is gone, this mission is up to you men.” Sarge then began informing Simmons and Donut about ludicrous and likely to fail plan while you stood there quietly. “Got it men?”

“Men? What about me Sarge?”

“You’ll be staying here.”

“But you’ll be at a disadvantage!”

“We’ll have numbnuts over there help us.” Sarge pointed at where Grif briskly walked off to.

“But if you bring me, we’ll be at an _advantage_!”

“I’m not risking it, stay here with Lopez, I trust he’ll take care of you.”

“Whhatttt? No Sarge, pleeeeease.” Jesus you sounded like Donut. “I want to fight the blues! I want to gooooooooooooo.”

“Little lady, my pride would never allow me to send you into battle against those dirty blues!”

“BUT DONUT’S GOING!”

“Princess bubble-gum (“It’s lightish red”) is a capable solider.”

“But I’m a higher rank than hiiiiiim!”

“That doesn’t matter, now give me five!”

“Five? Like, five push ups?”

“No, five hours of consecutive cleaning! I want to see this base clean for our victory!” You groaned loudly before starting your journey to Lopez.

“YES _DAD_! I SWEAR I WON’T BREAK MY CURFEW, OR GO OUT WITH ANY BAD BOYS!”


	31. Request open!

I’m currently working on a project not related to red vs blue so I won’t able to spend too much time brainstorming too many ideas. Currently working on a beautiful Maine one shot for a beautiful person, but please send in request for any characters I have neglected. Request are my highest priority and they come before any random ideas. So send in request and be at least specific about if you want romantic, comedic or angst-y. E.g romantic/comedic Doyle. I’m not afraid to write transgender or suicidal or anything controversial.


	32. 25. Adoration (Maine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to come out yesterday, but you know, life.   
> Next in line:  
> Church  
> Sarge  
> Washington  
> Thank you for the request, I’ll get them done but as you know, I am busy.

**Words: 281**

**Characters: Maine**

**Genre: Angst-y**

**This was _supposed_ to come out yesterday, but you know, life. **

 

Being a freelancer was easy. Being a _good_ freelancer while maintaining your rank on the leader board was the hard part.

It seemed like no matter how hard you tried, there always seemed to be someone better than you. From a school stand point it would be like you were the A, and the rest of the freelancers were the A+. You thought the distance wasn’t that big.  
But, you learned that it was much bigger than you thought. You learnt this extremely obvious fact during the last mission.

 

You and Maine were supposed to act as a distraction while Washington, York and Carolina were on extraction. It was a simple and easy mission. In some sense it was but there was something (small) that weighed (heavily) on your shoulders despite the success.

_A loud audible gasp left your lips as you fell to the ground. Correction, you were pushed to the ground._

_You were going to protest verbally but didn’t when you realised what happened._

_“M-Maine?” A brief glance to you, maybe a reassuring one, before he continued fighting._

_What had happened? Well, because your ignorance (lack of skill), you left your left side open. And, because of that (your slow reaction), it had forced Maine to take the bullet for you. It wasn’t much, but it was still a bullet. He was the one shot (hurting physically) but it felt like you could feel the pain (hurting metaphorically)._

_A cough left your mouth as you refocused on the battlefield. Later, you could think about that. Think about the bullet he took for you. Think about how one day, he would be something great, while you’d be the same, always ten step underneath him._


	33. 99. Friendship (Church)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who realised Halloween is coming up because of a request? This girl! Reminder, make some more Halloween one shots. If I’m still into RvB next year (which is highly likely) you guys are going to love what I have in mind for Valentine’s day!
> 
> Next up:
> 
> Sarge
> 
> Washington
> 
> Grif 

**Words: 527**

**Characters: (Mostly) Church**

**Genre: Comedic**

“♪ But your girlfriend is half aquatic. ♪” The camera panned to you as the music continued playing with a few seconds of nothing passing. Another few seconds passed of that pure silence continued as you stood there with your arms crossed in an unimpressed manner.

“Well?” You looked at Tucker.

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you going to sing?”

“Sing? You must have me confused with someone else. I don’t sing.”

“Oh come on, don’t be a buzzkill! Just sing!” You stared at Tucker for a long period without saying anything, but he knew exactly what you meant, ‘I’m not singing’.

“YOU KNOW, YOU’RE MY BIGGEST PROBLEM! USUALLY YOU’RE THE SOURCE OF ALL THESE-“ Everyone watched as Church began his long and irrelevant tangent about how much he hated you. You expected him to finish, but when he continued for a for more minutes you so you just had to succumb to his bullshit.

“OKAY, FINE! I’LL SING!” You just couldn’t be bothered to hear Church’s bitching anymore. So, with your arms still crossed, you grumbled out your lyrics with emotion that rivalled Gary.   “♪ And your thinking is, quite dogmatic. ♪”

“See, how hard was that?” You sent a quick glare towards Doc.

 

“I think he captured us perfectly.” The blue hologram spoke up while looking at you.

“I’m not going to refute that. nor am I going to deny it.”  


 

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” You stopped in your walking to see Church standing in front of your base.

“There are two bases. If I’m not going to the blue base, where else could I go?”

“You can’t go to the _red_ base.” Red was spoken was an immense amount of distaste.

“Why not?” ‘ _Because if you die they’ll be nobody else sane at this base’_ is what you wanted to hear but, it was not what you got.

“Because they’re red! What are you going to do over there anyway?”

“Watch a movie, Donut invited me.”

“The pink one?” Your answer to the question was a nod. “I like him.”

“Same.” You say before begging to walk off.

“WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”

“Are you becoming retarded? I said I’m going to red base.” You didn’t stop to look at him.

“You can’t!” This time you did stop.

“Why not Church?”    

“Well, for starters, they’re _red_ and we’re blue. If you go over there, they will fill you with you holes!”

“Oh Church, it’s nice to see you care about me but don’t worry about it. Donut likes me, Grif couldn’t care less, Sarge would never hurt a girl and,” you snorted lightly, “don’t get me started on Simmons.”

“BUT YOU’RE A GIRL!”

“Exactly?”

“AND THEY’RE MEN!”

“ _And?”_

“Fine, go! Go and get knocked up!”

“Excuse me?”

“Last time Tucker went somewhere he came back with that so I guess now it’s your turn!”

“Oh Church, don’t be ridiculous!”

“No, no, just go! And, you know what? Don’t come back, just join the red team for all I care!” A roll of your eyes before you started walking away.

“I’ll be back at 1800!”

“18-1800? As in eighteen hundred-“

“6pm!”

“JUST SAY THAT NEXT TIME!”

 


	34. 78. Goosebumps (Sarge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a 3 in 1. WOW! Head canon + 2 fics. I loved the first fic and head canon but I also wanted to give my beautiful requestii some more fluff! Different personalities in both fics. This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would also, I love writing head canon’s (they’re so easy to write and give me inspiration for new chapters). So if you want a head canon + a fic, don’t be afraid to request.

**Words: 849**

**Characters: Sarge**

**Genre: Romantic, Comedy**

  * It would take _a lot_ to make Sarge apologise (and admit his mistakes) and, even if he did, he’d only grumble out an apology.
  * If you’re in the wrong it would take a lot of kisses and cleaning (the warthog) to make it up to him. Abusing (preferably physically) Grif is a quick alternative.
  * Sarge would not allow you on missions and, even if he did, he would make sure you’re far in the back and safe.
  * If someone continuously guesses his passwords, he’ll just change most of them to your name.
  * Movie night would include Citizen Kane and M*A*S*H with the occasional romantic movie.
  * You’d have a cute drive in on his Chupababy.
  * Refuses to let you hang out with Grif in case you catch his “insubordination”.
  * If you get kidnapped (“by those dirty blues”), Sarge would waste no time in creating a ludicrous plan to save you (one that obviously involves Grif getting hit).
  * Sarge’s kisses are very traditional. He gets very flustered if it’s anymore more than a quick peck.
  * Also gets embarrassed by PDA (especially in front of blue team).
  * Not matter how many times you reject him, he will continue to ask you out.
  * He’ll either ask you out in a traditional way (a simple bouquet of your favourite flowers) or find an outrageous and confusing way (that somehow always involves Grif getting hurt).



 

 

“Church why did you give the rookie the _fucking_ rifle?”

“What? I didn’t give it to them!” Church, with Tucker trailing behind him, stomped up to your location (on top of the base). “Hey rookie, why the fuck do you have my sniper rifle?” A few seconds of nothing passed as you lied down looking through the sniper scope.

“I’m…scouting.” You say without looking up.

“Scouting? What are you scouting?” You muttered out a “red base”.

“I can see it from here without the fucking sniper file. Why exactly do you need it?” You said nothing to Tucker as you continued looking at red base.

“Rookie what are you-” Church stops, finally looks at the red base then realises what you’re looking at, “You’re staring at their sergeant’s ass aren’t you?”

“What? Noooooooooo. No. I’m not…I’m not staring…” You trailed off as you zoomed into a very, **_very_** important _ass_ et.

“Eww, he’s like triple your age!”

“I’m not eight.” You zoomed in a _little_ more.

“That doesn’t make any sense but,” Tucker shakes his head, “how about you try some fresh meat? Bow chicka bow wow!” You don’t say anything to Tucker as you continued to observe a beautiful thing. 

“I wonder what it’s like to be sarge’d.” Tucker sent you a confused look.

“Sarge’d?”

“Yeah.” You said dreamily. “He has a boner for murder, I have a boner for-” Church’s eyes widened as he realised what you were going to say.

“STOP! NO! NO! NO! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO HEAR THE IMPLICATION BEHIND THAT!” Your dreamy smile turns into a stupid grin.

“He can double barrel in me anytime.” Tucker and Church promptly started groaning and mutter phrases like “gross” and “stop”.

“Jesus Christ rookie! That’s fucking disgusting!”

 

Sarge wouldn’t admit it, he hated to admit it or even think about it. If he were to tell anyone, especially Grif, he knew that they’d never shut up about it because red and blue just never mixed.

You always made him feel conflicted. You were a blue, a dirty blue, but you were also a poor defenceless little lady (in his eyes). So he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hate you or allowed to like you.

“Mr Sergeant sir.” As an automatic reaction, Sarge held up his shot gun defensively.

“YA SCRUFFY NERF HEDER!” His shout turns weak the second he sees you and he lowers his gun slightly. “Ma’am, what do ya want?”

“Well, Mr Sergeant sir,” you lift up a box from your hands, “Caboose is banned from eating cookies so I thought that maybe your team would like them.”

“They’re not poisoned are they?”

“I don’t think they are sir!”

“How can I trust ya? You’re a dirty blue!”

“Sir! My body may belong to blue team but my heart is only for red team!” As you said this you could only sweat as Sarge scrutinised you for a few seconds. His long and hard stare was broken by your words. “Glory to the red team! Extra glory to you!” That definitely got Sarge’s attention (an approval) as he ushered you up.

“If these are poisoned, I will not hesitate to shoot ya.” That was a lie, he’ll probably hesitate or not shoot you at all.

You only smiled as Sarge removed his helmet and grinned even harder as he took a bit from the cookies you made.

“Well?” Still nothing as he continued chewing.

“These are good, did ya make them yourself?” You nodded. “It’s a shame ya part of blue team, red team could use an amazing asset like you.” Never had you wished you were part of red team.


	35. Imagine # 2 (Freelancers)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Grif one shot may take a lot longer than usual because I am trying a different writing style so I thought “why not get a short imagine out before then”.

**Words:196**

**Characters: Washington, Carolina, North Dakota, South Dakota, C.T, York, Wyoming, Florida, Maine, Tex,**

**Genre: Romantic, Comedic and angst-y**

**Washington**

Imagine Washington always snuggling up with you at night because you’re the only one that can comfort him with his nightmares.

**Carolina**

Imagine Carolina fighting, and trying to be the best, to gain your attention.

**North Dakota**

Imagine North purposely snuggling up with you and kissing you a lot because he finds your blushing face cute (does this a lot in public).

**South Dakota**

Imagine South being a border line Tsundere!

**C.T**

Imagine C.T, as she was dying, thinking about you. Regretting how she couldn’t help you from project freelancer and regretting that she never told you how much she liked you.

**York**

Imagine York reading “How to pick up chicks 101”, you catching him and him only grinning embarrassingly when you do.

**Wyoming**

Imagine Wyoming, whenever you catch him lying, calming you down with a moustache kiss.

**Florida/Flowers**

Imagine Florida always greeting you with a secure hug (and the occasional kiss).

**Maine**

Imagine Maine, during a random conversation (with the opposite gender), getting jealous and suddenly picking you up bridal style while walking away.

**Tex(as)**

Imagine Allison dying to protect you and because of this Tex tries to not hurt you during training (you’d always end up with the least injuries).  


	36. 2. Complicated (Grif)

**When windows updates just as you finish this so you lose all your work. AHA! Windows, ah you little rascal always FUCKING UP EVERYTHING (Windows: Learn to save your work idiot).**

**Next:**

**Washington**

**Felix**

**Locus**

**Words: 1006**

**Characters: Grif**

**Genre: Romantic and (little) Comedic**

Halloween was coming up in less than a day and you were excited. Halloween was coming up in less than a day and you and Grif had nothing planned (despite the constant pestering from you).

“Let’s go trick or treating” or “Do you want to go to Tucker’s party?” would be silenced with sloppy, lazy kiss; brushed by Grif, or fully ignored by him.

It was definitely not the reaction you were not expecting because Grif, avoiding free candy? Astronomically strange.

You made it your goal that you were going to be doing something with Grif one way or another.

 

“Hey, Dex.” You felt Grif’s shoulders raise up slightly as he heard your question.

You were both leisurely flicking through channels as you sat on the right side of the couch, leaning on Grif. Your shorter height allowed him to lean on your head and occasionally burry his face into your hair.

“Yeah?” Grif hummed to your question while stuffing his face with chips (that you had bought him).

“What are you doing for Halloween?” At the mention of ‘Halloween’ Grif hesitated with his next bite but, just as quickly, brushed It off.

“Nothing.”

“Correction, what are-” you put an emphasis on your next word as you point back and forwards between the two of you. “- _we_ doing this Halloween?”

Grif stared long and hard as your finger before swatting it away in a slightly irritated manner.

“Like I said, nothing.” If it wouldn’t have disrupted your relaxed mood, you would have thrown a mini fit that included; stomping, pinching and (potentially) crying from you or Grif.

“Dex. Why not?” He said nothing in response. “You’re missing out on free candy!”

You could feel Grif perk up at ‘free candy’ but you could also feel him dull down for a reason you didn’t know.

“Dex is there-” You stopped mid-sentence as you finally realised what the problem was.

It was Halloween and what was Halloween usually associated with?

“BATS” You weren’t sure if it was your abrupt standing up, or the mention of bats that made Grif flinch back violently. “You’re afraid of bats.”

You felt liking hitting yourself for being so dense, how could you forget what Simmons had told you last year?

Apparently Grif was screaming and groaning every time he saw something that resembled a bad. He was clinging to Simmons like a mad man and even got so scared he begged to go home.

After Simmons told you that story and you two got home (after a night out with Simmons) Grif was a little grumpy.  Though, you easily swayed his mood with a few kisses and cuddle ups.

“No I’m not!” Now it was your turn to stare long and hard at Grif, silently questioning his answer. “I TOLD YOU I’M NOT AFRAID OF BATS!” Still you said nothing as you stood in front of the television with your arms crossed.

“You’re not?” He nods energetically. “Fine.” You sat back down next to Grif but this time you didn’t lean on him. “You don’t have to go with me.”

Grif raised an eyebrow at your sudden compliance. Usually it took than just a protest to convince you about _anything_. He thought it was weird but not something he wanted to concern himself with (because it took too much effort), so he went back to watching the food channel.

Minutes of silence went y as Grif was intently undressing the salad dressing and you were sitting there unimpressed with your arms crossed.

“I’ll just go with Felix.” Your words, that suddenly broke the silence, got nothing but a twitch of the eye from Grif. “And Tucker.” Another twitch of the eye but still nothing else. “…As a sexy nurse.”

This time you actually caught the attention of Grif. He finally turned to you with extremely narrowed eyes.

“You wouldn’t.” Of course you wouldn’t, but he didn’t know that.

“Actually I think I like the sexy maid-oh not wait, what about the-” before you could say anything else a hand covered your mouth.

You looked up hopefully with your eyes glistening with childish excitement (and a face you knew Grif couldn’t say no to).

Grif stared back for ten seconds so you widened your eyes by a tenfold.

Unwavering after five seconds.

Slightly wavering after ten seconds.

Extreme wavering after fifteen seconds.

A sight as twenty seconds before Grid removes his hand from your mouth.

“Fine we’ll go.” As he said this you clapped happily. “ _But_ don’t blame me when we’re mauled to death by bats.”

 

Grif didn’t want to tell you why he hated Halloween. It wasn’t just because of the bats but his family history that created this…phobia.

Being in a circus meant being surrounded by the creepiest, most unusual things constantly. Halloween just reminded Grif of his supressed memories.

His eyes then drifted to your form. You were picking out multiple outfits, while wearing an odd one yourself.

He didn’t show it but it hurt him somewhere inside, brought back memories he didn’t want back.

“Hey Dex!” He looked up to see you flaring off some weird hot dog costume. “How do I look?”

 _Good enough to eat,_ is what he would have said if his common sense didn’t stop him.

“Eh, you look okay.” Is what actually came out.

You stood there for a moment without saying anything and only staring at Grif.

“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?”

“You don’t seem to be enjoying this.”

“No, I’m enjoying this.” Grif didn’t intend for his response to be sarcastic but instinct somehow controlled him.

“…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For this! Simmons told me you’re not into Halloween yet I tried to force you into this situation.” You awkwardly rubbed your sides. “How about we go home and I make it up to you?”

“I don’t know, it’s pretty hard to-”

“How about we buy some sweets and eat them in front of children?” This made Grif gasp dramatically.

“That’s pure evil…but I love the way you think.”

 


	37. 16. Excuses (Washington)

**Fun fact: I wrote this during maths because I fucking hate maths (Specifically the teacher).**

**Words: 879**

**Characters: Washingtub**

**Genre: Romantic + Comedy (School AU)**

School. More specifically, high school. The futile, torturous and excruciatingly boring experience that every individual was forced through. Yours was especially bad since you were in the class you hated most.

You swear your teacher was a sleeping pill because their boring voice had almost sent you to sleep four times already.

Beside you sat Washington who was intently listening to the bore fest. You tried to scan his face for anything but focus but there was nothing else.

His eyes were surprisingly filled with interest as you slowly admired the blonde listening to the teacher.

You stared, stared and continued to stare, expecting Washington to look in your direct. He didn’t so you began to try and gain his attention with whisper shouting.

“David. Psst, David.” Still no response as Washington continued staring forward. “PPPPSTTTT DAVID!” Again he made no indication that he was listening to you (which was weird because you were borderline shouting) thus your assault on his began.

With all the equipment there you easily setup, aimed and began to fire.

You saw Washington’s face widen dramatically as he felt something wet land on his face. That had finally got this attention as he looked to you to see you adorning a triumphant smirk. You made no effort in hiding the weapon and he could swear you were showing off the handmade tube.

That was all he needed to retaliate. He grabbed some paper from his book and began his gross defence.

You landed a shot on his cheek, and giggled, while he landed one on your forehead and chuckled lightly. As you both continued your unhygienic exchange, your laughs got louder. Loud to the point where the whole class could hear them, specifically Washington’s.

“MR. WASHINGTON!” David and you shot up at the teachers loud and authoritarian tone. “I WOULD PREFER IF YOU AND YOUR LOVER SHARED SALIVA AFTER MY CLASS.” Washington’s eyes widened as he heard the word lover while you, and the rest of the class, burst out laughing because of his red cheeks.  

He saw you were laughing and buried his cherry face into his hands.

“Yes sir.”

“Good, now if you’d let me continue-” Then (again) began the unbearable but unluckily familiar drawl of the teacher.

You (again) took the time to admire Washington but this time you did catch his eyes.

He sent you an irritated but obviously playful look and you responded with a pout.

“David-” you went to start off but was cut off by the teacher.

“MR WASHINGTON! DO I NEED TO SEND YOU TO THE PRICIPALS OFFICE?” It took your left hand covering your mouth, your right hand banging the table and a bite of the lips to supress your hysterical laughter.

“No sir, sorry sir.” Washington was definitely not impressed.

He was so grumpy your paper spit balls and constant poking hadn’t gotten his attention. The only thing you could think of doing now was plan “B.”

You ripped out of piece of paper from your notebook and stared scribbling words on it. In the few seconds you had finished, you have managed to fold it and tip it off with a heart.

The paper landed on Washington’s table with a light poof.

He almost instantly saw but it most definitely didn’t open it was he contemplated what to do with it.

When you got a childish and confused look (that was too pure for this world) you just urge him to open it.

He examined it for a little before complying.

Hi

:)

“Hi?” Came his soft confused reply. This caused you to through another piece.

I said hi

>:(

Another way and another note.

David why are you

being so rude?

Just write hi

:(

He gave a look that said, “I am?”. This cause _another_ piece to hit him on the head.

WRITE!!!

_Happy?_

OXYGEN MAGNESIUM! MR WASHINGTUB, HOW DARE YOU PASS NOTES DURING MY CLASS!! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEND YOU TO THE PRICIPALS OFFICE?

_What? You started this!_

Excuses, excuses my dear boyfriend.

His eyes widened as he read over “boyfriend”.

_Boyfriend?_

Yeah.

 _Since when?_  
<3 Yes.

_????????_

Never mind that, I’m free this afternoon if you want to do something

_Something like?_

You thought for a second before writing down what you had in mind. Washington picked it up and…que adorable blush.

“MR WASHINGTON, PASSING NOTES I SEE.” You both, specifically Washington, look up to see your very pissed teacher. “Would you mind if I read that out loud to the class?”

“Uh sir, um, I don’t feel very well?” His voice went up multiple octaves as he questioned himself.

“Well you’re definitely well enough to pass me the notes.” The man held his hand out and Washington sent you a desperate look.

You looked between Washington and the teacher, trying to figure out an ingenious plan.

That’s when you struck you, of course, it was the most logical thing to do.

 

 

“And that’s how I got the name paper eater!” You stood proudly in front of a crowd of people, with your arms crossed and an extremely smug grin.

“What was on the note?” Some random asked.

“Well my child, when you reach the ripe old age of 15, your parents will explain it to you.”

 


	38. 42. Agitation (Felix)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> League, why you got me in a strangle hold? I seriously can’t stop playing doom bots, please help. It stopped being fun after the 20th lost (I’ve played 40 and lost 40).  
> Just a little something I wanted to advertise –   
> https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/interactivefics/pcpjpdomcbnlkbghmchnjgeejpdlonli   
> or  
>  http://interactivefics.tumblr.com/   
> Those people have made an amazing extension (for chrome) that replaces things with (Y/N) and (L/N) (It’s customisable) with your name. I’ve been using it for a long time and I feel like it would be great if you use it. Free and it just enhances your reading experience.   
> Seriously, check it out.

**Words: 575**

**Characters: Felix**

**Genre: Romantic**

You were not a morning person; anyone could tell that. If your sleep was broken you’d usually be snappy, choppy, easily irritated and most importantly, you’d be rude.          

So, when you woke up to blasting music from your neighbour (who _knew_ of your bad morning attitude) it took all your will power to _not_ choke a baby.

It wasn’t just you that shared this thought. Your other next door neighbour, someone of Hispanic decent, never verbally said it (since you never actually talked) but you could tell it annoyed him. One time you swear they had gotten into a fist fight because of it, but that was seriously up to debate considering Felix’s goad nature.

The other people in your complex constantly expressed their extreme distaste for the walking stereotype. Many of them did it verbally, some physically and you…you did it passively aggressively, if not at all sometimes.

Felix.

Felix: the bane of your existence, that annoying hot dude and (your personal favourite) that dude that needed to get shot…multiple times.

Always, you’d just brush of his irruptions of your beauty sleep, go on with your day. Send him a few glares, write a few “intimidating” notes but overall try to ignore him. Always. Everyday. Everyday…but today.

Today, at 5 am, you were standing in front of apartment ’11-037’. The door not only concealed the music but it stopped the vibration, you could **see** it.

Just as you banged on the door, the song choice changed from Ke$ha to Justin Timberlake. You expected him to instantly stop the music and answer the door, but he didn’t. So, you banged again, this time a little harder.

Usually you’d just brush it off, possibly walk away, but today was not ‘usually’.

Commence insistent and violent banging.

“HEY FUCKER! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!” A few more seconds and you thought the door would break.

Finally, he seemed to be annoyed by the bangs and came to the door.

“Hey babe.” You looked at him for a second, he was not annoyed. He was without a shirt and had very _tight_ underwear on. “Enjoying the sight?”

You shook your head before looking up to glare at the smug look plastered on his face.

“Hey babe? HEY BABE? Don’t ‘hey babe me’!” You bang the door frame close to his head, still no reaction from his cocky smirk. “I’M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP!”

“How about you sleep in here?” An extremely irritated glare from you. “You know you’d love too, plus, you’re pretty hot when you’re mad.”

“Oh you’re a cocky piece of shit! DO YOU EVER SLEEP?” He just smirked. A smirk that made you want to fucking punch his face him.

“I don’t know, do I?” ‘DON’T LET HIM GET TO YOU’ you continued repeating your mantra.

“Well, _Felix_ ,” you made sure to say that with extreme distaste, “CAN YOU STOP?”

“I don’t know, can I?”

“FELIX!” Shit, he got to you! You clenched your fist and dug your nails into your palm. He always got you way too easily.

“How about you make me?” Make him. Oh, you were going to make him.

You grabbed him roughly by the collar and locked lips with him before pushing him away as roughly as you could.

His eyes widen dramatically then narrowed just as quickly. No words were spoken before he smirks and pulls you into his apartment.

The music was twice as loud as after that.


	39. 63. Cold Embrace (Locus)

**M-m-m-money shot! Guess which chick found $10 under her bed after cleaning her room? This chick! Into the league fund you go!**

**Words: 278**

**Characters: Locus**

**Genre: Angst-y and romantic**

Locus acted like it didn’t affect him but he knew you noticed. It was you after all, you noticed everything about him.

No matter how expressionless he tried to make himself seem, somehow you always knew. When he was angry, you’d leave him be. When he was sad, you’d passively try to comfort him. When he was anything, you knew exactly what to do.

 

After a hard day, the only thing Locus could think about was you.

It was painfully slow and agonising day especially due to Washington’s taunting.

Monster?

No, he couldn’t get side-tracked or think about he needed to rest, relax.

So, he went to eh only place he knew he could relax.

 

There you were in your room, standing casually around without your full body armour on.

You barely noticed him before he clung on tightly to your small body frame, feeling like if he let you go you’d disappear.

“L-locus?” Nothing was said as he just held you in his arms and thought.

Thought about you. What you had done for him, what you were going to do for him and what you couldn’t do for him.

He knew it was a bad idea to get close to you, knew it was the worst idea. You were weak, you would die, but he couldn’t stop his feelings. He tried, tried and tried, but that didn’t seem to work.

He made it his goal to not become what he feared most (a monster) when you were around. He wouldn’t let it consume him and…even if he couldn’t do that, he’d protect you. With all his might, he’d protect the only thing left in his life.


	40. 1. Introduction (Tucker)

**Words: 671**

**Characters: Tucker and Junior**

**Genre: Romantic, Comedic**

Alien politics wasn’t really your thing. Normal politics was hard enough and adding alien in the title didn’t make it any easier. Boring, straining, rage inducing and confusing.

How exactly did you get this job? How was it that, instead of the many of your extravagant job ideas, you got this one?

Sitting in a stuffy, hot chamber and talking about ~~nothing~~ politics with crusty, old and ugly aliens was almost the most annoying thing about your job. Almost, because the most annoying thing was that they had sent you, a human with no knowledge of any alien language, to negotiate with aliens.

Fucking geniuses!

This stupidity always got you into stupid situations…like this one.

“WHHHHHAT DOES BLARG EVEN FUCKING MEAN?” The green alien parallel to you made some weird alien things you couldn’t decipher.

“BLARG HONK!” His response causes you to slam your first on the table.

“Blarg honk? BLARG MOTHER FUCKING HONK? HOW CAN YOUR VOCABULARY OF CONSIST OF TWO WORDS? HOW ARE YOU EVEN ABLE TO COMMUNICATE?” The next answer, which was said incredibly slow, only served to fuel your anger.

“TALKING SLOWLY ISN’T GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING! I CAN’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU! YOU’RE TALKING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LANGUAGE!” The alien only let out another ‘blarg’ before leaving the room in an exasperated fit.

“BLARG? WELL BLARG BLARG HONK YOU TOO MOTHER FUCKER!” You stare at his receding form before sighing heavily and going back to shuffling through random sheets. Random sheets you were supposed to decline or accept, which would be easy IF YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. “Scribbles! Sangheili is just a bunch of incoherent **scribbles**!”

You continued mumbling to yourself until your next clientele walked through the doors.

“Human and a girl? Wow it is my lucky day?” A little look up before you see a man in teal armour…or was it aqua marine?

“Oh wow, look at that, A MOTHER FUCKING HUMAN THAT SPEAKS ENGLISH! WHAT A FIRST!”

“Hey, watch your language, there’s a kid in the room.” The man points down to a dog looking thing/

“Oh, sorry? Just a little frustrated. ” Today had been an extremely boring day and finally there was someone to entertain you. A guy nonetheless. “So, what’s you and your..son’s name?”

“Name’s Tucker but all the ladies call me Dr.Fu-.” He looks down at the child.

“Doctor Fu?”

“Nevermind. This here’s Junior, my son.” He put his hand on the child’s head which causes him beams with excitement.

“I can…” you took an extremely long look at the excited (non) human. “see the resemblance. Anyway!” You wanted to have a little fun today. “You work at a post office? “

“Huh?”

“Because I saw you checking out my package.

“Bow chicka- Wait a moment. What?”

“I`m no weatherwoman, but I can expect a few big inches tonight.”

“Excuse me? There’s a child in here!” You make no indication that you heard him.

“I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down-” Realising where you were going, Tucker covers his son’s ears (do Sangheili even have ears? Or are they ear holes?) with his hands.

“Aren’t you supposed to be an alien ambassador? How is this appropriate?”

“Appropriate? Have you read your file?” You turn down slightly to look at Junior “Hey, Junior, wasn’t it?” The little kid sent you a surprised (?) look. That was excellent because you knew some Sangheili. The swear words and dirty phrases. “Blarg Blarg honk honk.”   
  
Somehow, despite his father’s hands, the kid could hear you.

“Bow chicka honk honk.”

“That’s my boy-Woah, woah, woah wait! Lady. I understand that you’re hot but what exactly are you teaching my kid?” You said nothing at all and only gave him a seductive wink.

“Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.”

Tuckers eyes widen before he stands up abruptly. Seemingly having enough, Tucker makes his way out of the room while covering his son’s ears.

“CALL ME!” Great first impression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why can’t I stop watching Jo-jo? Please. HELP. HEEEEEELP!


	41. 32. Empty (Doc)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try not to cry xd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: Fuck my ass. I started writing and I couldn’t stop. Is it bad I actually cried while writing this? Jesus I get too emotionally attached when writing.

**Words: //Too many// (1340 if you really want to know)**

**Characters: My hubby (Doc)**

**Genre: Angst-y and romantic**

 

There wasn’t much you wouldn’t do for money.

Killing? Easy, the most common of your jobs. Sometimes you’d do it just for the sake of killing, sometimes for the sake of boredom.

Torture? Easier, the most fun of your jobs. Something about that just always seemed to brighten your day.

Some say you were evil and morally disturbed. You said it was natural. Thoughts that no-one dared to think, converted into actions that no-one dared to do.

He said…that it couldn’t be helped. He said it wasn’t your fault since you were forced to be like that.

DuFresne said that…about you.

You- your feelings for Dufresne were confusing.

At first it was sort of a one-way relationship. You’d get hurt, he’d patch you up. Simple and very professional.

Your relationship grew ever so slightly with your frequent visits.

It started off with a little small talk. He’d ask you a few questions, you’d occasionally answer. You kind of realised that your intimidation wore off oh him as you answered more questions.

Now you two were sort of close.

“I don’t get why you listen to them.” He let out as he bandaged your burnt hand. It was substantially darker than Its usual shade and skin was flaking.

“I don’t get why you’re bandaging my flaking hand. Shouldn’t you be rubbing some ointment on it or something?”

A widen of his eye before he starts stammering for the ointment, and rubbing your hand.

“I’m so sorry but this is going to hurt a lot.” A hiss of pain left you as the material burned your burn. “Sorry!”

“Don’t apologise, hurting people is normal, isn’t it?”

“No, not if I’m a pacifist.”

“Oh wow, my doctor’s a pacifist.” You didn’t notice DuFresne’s blush as you indirectly claimed him as yours.

“I’m not a doctor, I’m a medic.”

 

“What’s the difference?”

“Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable...while they die."

“Wow…that’s something else.”

“Great, done!”

You looked down at your hand and the flimsy job he had done. He hadn’t messed up the ointment part, he had messed up the bandaging part.

It looked like a four-year-old had done it.

You let out a small genuine smile.

“Heh, cute.”

A smile that made his heart beat and flutter simultaneously. A smile that left him with the feeling of hope, hoping that you were calling him cute.

 

 

“Before…you didn’t answer my question.”

“Question?”

“Why do you ki-hurt people?”

“I get paid if I do a good job.”

“Is money really everything?”

“Yes…without money, I’d just be a murder.” Nobody let out any sounds, instead silence dominated the air.

“What if you tried the pacifist route?”

“Pacifist? Nah, I prefer the genocide route.”

“You’re kill-hurting innocent people.”

“Not all the time.”

“What about the innocent ones?”

“What about them? They don’t have value to their lives, most were going to die anyway.”

“Every life has value. Even the worst people…even you have value.”

 

 

Here you were again in the same room with the same person. Though the circumstances were different.

Instead of your usual demeanour, you were sitting down and staring out of the window, admiring the environment.

Taking in the beautiful, clear and…pristine snow. You never took a moment to look at your surroundings.

It was always kill, kill, kill! Never relax, observe or laugh.

“You look happy today.”

“Mhmm, I guess you could say that.”

‘Today…I tried. I tried not to hurt them too much’ is what you said internally but not verbally. You didn’t want him to see you as weak.

 

“Just let it go.” You don’t your head from his shoulder as he talks.  “I’ve killed people…accidently. If it weighed on me, I wouldn’t get far in life…would I?” You said nothing and only continued to lean on the shoulder of the man in front of you.

“I was getting better.”

“And you still are. This one event won’t change the fact that you have gotten better.”  

“…Am I a good person?”

“Will you hit me if I say no?”      

“Hitting you would make me a good person?”

“The opposite.”

“Then no. I won’t hit you.”

“That’s a good start.”

“What makes a good person?”

“Not hurting people.”

“I can’t do that.”

“How about helping people?”

“H-he-he-helping?”

“Yeah you know, _helping_!” You squinted at DuFresne, very confused. “Come on, you know, assisting.”

“Oh! I know what you mean I _assist_ people all the time.” Oh, today was going to be a long day.

 

You couldn’t feel anything, metaphorically and literally speaking. You tried to wiggle your big toe but nothing would work. What exactly was wrong?

Your hands worked but nothing else would work, nothing below your waist.

Wait, your eyes worked, so you just had to look down and see what was- oh god.

“Oh I’m going to die?” There was blood spattered across your stomach, blood everywhere. What happened?   “I- am I going to die?”

Why would you even ask that question? Of course you were going to die, you were losing blood, all of your blood.

Blood?

Oh yeah, it was DuFresne. No, he didn’t kill you, you were…what were you doing? Something, something.

You couldn’t finish your thought train as you closed you squinted your eyes.

It was hard to think. You couldn’t remember.

“Am I dying?”

Nothing but the howling wind as your blood stained the pristine snow.

“No!” Your eyes snapped wide open at the sudden scream.  “I’m going to save you!”

There was DuFresne with a worried look plastered on his face.

“Hey…”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me, I need to secure your wounds.” He then began doing what he said.

“You can’t, You’re not a doctor, you’re a medic.”

“What’s the difference? Being a medic isn’t going to stop me from helping you.”

“Well-” You weren’t allowed to finish your sentence as a coughing fit interrupted your sentence. A coughing fit that produced an abnormal amount of blood.

“Don’t talk, let me help you!” He took a long time in manoeuvring you carefully so he could hold you.

“No. You’re not a doctor because…a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable while they die."

“C-can’t we pretend I’m a doctor?”

“You know that’s not how it works.” You saw his face contort into something of agonising pain and for a second you assumed he was the one bleeding out.

“T-th-then h-h-how can I make you more comfortable?” DuFresne looked like he was holding back a waterfall of tears.

“Ask me how I feel.”

“H-how d-d-o you feel?”

“Happy. Now ask me why.”

“Wh-why do you feel happy? You’re dying!”

“Because you’re here, holding onto me. Because you’ve forgiven me for mistake I’ve made. You …you changed me.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

“It’s okay if I do, I need to pay. I’ve done so much wrong.”

“But that wasn’t your fault, you were raised like that! J-just let it go!”

For the first time in so long a tear slid down your cheek. Not from the pain, because that had long gone away, but because you were so happy. The happiest you have ever been.

“Thank you DuFresne but I need to go to sleep now.”

“W-wait no please! You don’t need to-”

“DuFresne, wish me goodnight…please.” His grip on your form tightened as he clenched his teeth tightly. He was reluctant but did it nonetheless.

“G-g-g-g-goodnight. T-tomorrow you wake up…and-and y-you’ll…you’ll be j-just fine.”

“Mmmh.” Instead of talking anymore you just held still as DuFresne clutched you to his frame, sobbing quietly. “DuFresne…please tell me I’m a good person.”

“Y-y-you are. You’re a good person.”

What you thought before, that was a lie, now was the happiest you had ever felt.

You were going to do what he told you and you were going to let go.

“Dufresne…” the man looked down as you said his name. You gave him a slight smile and touch his cheek. “Thank you.” A content sigh escaped your mouth.

Your hand grew slack as you couldn’t hold on anymore

“…Thank you.”

 

 

 


	42. Random Head canon’s + Imagines (Tucker, Caboose and Church)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: I swear to god I will give red team, Sheila and Sister some more love later. I love them all and I try to share the love (but fail terribly)

**Words: 529**

**Characters: Half of half of my colour (Church, Tucker, Caboose)**

**Genre: Angst-y and romantic**

** Church **

  * Church getting incredibly pissed whenever someone insults you
  * DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH HIM. He’s a sore loser and a bit of a rager
  * Always snuggling till noon (Church is not a morning person)
  * Hates going out with you if Felix and Tucker are involved
  * Terrible aim ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  * He’d show you off as an ornament whenever Tex is around (Lost of physical contact)
  * Him acting like a baby whenever you cook something he doesn’t like. Very picky
  * You’d both have a 20-minute screaming contest (at 2am) about who was going to take the household pet out to pee
  * Church is great at singing metal and gets incredibly flustered whenever you catch him (gets especially embarrassed if you compliment him)
  * Always gets angry on your behalf
  * Watching horror movies are a no go, he starts screaming whenever a jump scare comes up or whenever the main character does something stupid
  * Imagine if in an Au Epsilon is Church’s twin brother and, when Church dies Epsilon feels like he has to replace him



** Tucker **

  * Before you started dating him, South, Felix, (surprisingly) North and him would try and see which one could pick you up the most. North won most of the time
  * He’s more cautious whenever North’s around
  * He also wasn’t obvious at all with his approach //sarcasm//
  * Constantly makes songs for you (mostly raps)
  * Calls during random intervals of the day and screams about how he can’t control junior
  * School AU: Skips class just to try and pick you up. Walks into your class room (ignores your teachers protest) and forces Frank to move from the seat next to you
  * Stay at home dad who frequently sends very sexual text while you’re at work
  * If he isn’t spamming ‘Bow chika bow wow’ he’s spamming ‘( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)’
  * Favourite emoji is eggplant
  * Acts cocky in public but is easily shut up with a kiss of any kind
  * More of a kisser but still adores hugs if they’re from you
  * Pesters you to skinny dip with him even during winter



** Caboose **

  * His love letters make you doubt he is literate but they’re still cute
  * The worst cook ever (of all time). Somehow manages to set _something_ on fire by just stepping into the kitchen
  * Has terrible taste in clothing, always picks the most childish things
  * Apart from cookies he surprisingly hates sweet things
  * Sometimes things will mysteriously disappear
  * The best hugger, though when he’s excited (which is frequent) it’s a painful bear hug
  * Most times you act like her mother
  * Doesn’t understand the concept of jealousy but will never “share” you
  * Never watches horror movies, they always should be below M
  * During dinner or outings will subtly try to steal food off your plate
  * So ticklish he might even wet himself if tickled hard enough
  * Instead of disturbing you when he wakes up, he’ll just sit there silently and wait until you wake up
  * You are his body pillow which has some positives (but more negatives)
  * A bad habit of babbling for years if you ever ask him about his day




	43. 59. Challenged (A.I)

Author note: Sorry about everything, I’ve been really, really, busy. Something terrible happened and I’ve barely solved these issues.

Words: 803

Characters: Epsilon, Gamma, Omega, Sigma, Theta, Delta

Genre: Comedy + implied romance (Real life AU)

You never got complaints from your neighbours because you were relatively quiet. especially during the weekend. Now you got complaints hourly, you weren’t sure what changed.

That was a lie, you knew exactly what changed.

Your friends.

“Friends”.

Maybe inviting them over every weekend wasn’t the best idea.

 “YOU’RE BOTH FUCKING CHEATING!”

“Fool, I do not require any advantages to beat you!”

“HOW ARE YOU NOT CHEATING? THERE’S NO WAY YOU COULD BEAT ME WITHOUT IT!” From the kitchen, you frowned heavily.

“Church, please lower your voice!”  You pleaded despite knowing that your pleas who go ignored.

You’d just gone to go and get some snacks and drinks for everyone and didn’t expect hell break loose.

“WHY? ARE YOU TAKING THEIR SIDE?”

You sighed slightly before popping your head into the living room greeting you with a typical sight.

Epsilon was one with the chair (not allowing anyone to even touch it) with a tight grip on the controller while Omega sat on the ground in front of him. Gamma and Sigma were doing some suspicious as fuck whispering in the corner and Delta and Theta were quietly conversing.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m just sick and tired of getting noise complaints every weekend.”

“BULLSHIT!”

“What’s bullshit? Me caring about the noise complaints?” Epsilon’s eye widened as he just realised how insensitive his words might’ve sounded.

“NO, NOT YOU, FUCKING SIGMA, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” You let out an oh goodness, rolled your eyes and actually walked into the living room for the first time.

“What exactly is going on?” Sometimes you were too much like a mother to these children.

“This fool here has accused me of cheating! He obviously must be lacking important brain cells If he thinks I would ever stoop to his level!”

“Omega please don’t insult Epsilon. Epsilon please don’t accuse Omega with any proof.”

“My proof is his team! They’re all cheating so why wouldn’t Omega be?”  
  
“Cheating?” You a little look towards Gamma and Sigma.

“Unlike these imbeciles, I have knowledge of this game. I don’t need underhanded tactics to obliterate you!”

“Omega does seem to be telling the truth but...Gamma.” You received a look and a frown from Gamma. “I don’t doubt for a second he’s cheating.”

“Unbelievable, I would never cheat.”

“Yeah?” Gamma did not falter in the slightest at your unnerving state.

“Yeah.”

“What do you have to say about that Epsilon.” You could see that Epsilon was on the verge of breaking all of your gaming equipment. His knuckles were obviously going to bruise because of all the dents he made in your couch.

“FULL OF SHIT! THIS IS WHY I DON’T HANG OUT WITH THESE FUCKERS!” Epsilon pointed an accusatory finger at Gamma who responded with an offended look.

“That’s rude, we would never-”

“So you’re saying that you’re not pulling my controller out every time I get close to winning.” This question was from Epsilon and directed to Sigma but Gamma answered nonetheless.

“Don’t be such a sore loser, his hand just keeps slipping because he’s...”

“Exercising.” A sickly-sweet smile from Sigma.  “Don’t you know after playing video games for multiple hours, it’s recommended that you exercise.”

“Your hand doesn’t just slip and PULL out the wire and you, G _amma._ You’re the worst offender! Spamming every button doesn’t make you skilled or any better at this game.”

The excessive screaming was getting to you. You didn’t want to say anything but the fact that you were clenching your fist (hard), you couldn’t prevent your oncoming outburst.

“It doesn’t? I guess that’s why you can beat me…”

“YOU THINK YOU’RE SO FUNN-!” Queue outburst.

“Epsilon. Gamma. Please!  We came here to have fun, not to get me kicked out of my apartment complex. If wanted to get kicked out, I would’ve invited the reds.”

“BUT-”

“Not buts Epsilon! You _will_ stop screaming. Gamma you will stop spamming and Sigma you _will_ stop ‘exercising! Do I make myself clear?”

There was no sound minus the slight hum of the three.

“I SAID, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

This time you got actual verbal answers.

“Good, now how about instead of bitching and whining, we let Theta and Delta have a turn?” Omega wasn’t all too happy with that suggestion.

“I refuse to stop until I am matched with a capable opponent.” With no hesitation, you snatched the controller out of Epsilons hand and ignored his protest. Ten seconds later Omega (reluctantly) handed the controller to Theta, with you giving it to Delta.

A few minutes later. And a lot of screaming from Epsilon you three were comfortably sat on the couch.

“Have I ever told you guys how much I hate all of you?” Your words sounded too much like Omega’s at that moment and Epsilon noticed.

“Multiple times, just today.”

 


	44. 32. Exploration (Caboose + Red team)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: I’ve actually had this written for so long, but I’ve just kept rewriting it. I have no idea when I’ll next update but it’s going to be a Felix one shot. Also trying to watch Voltron, Jo-Jo, Dangan Ronpa and Doctor Who simultaneously. It’s not that hard, I’m a great multi tasker (and procrastinator).

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ (Like my line break?)

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ

A snowball roughly hit your face. You stood there for a moment resisting the urge to cry (because it felt like a brick had hit your face) before clearing it off your face. Caboose was a lot stronger than you took him for and that’s why you didn’t want to play with him anymore.

“What’s wrong?” You flopped onto the snow heavily and left out a deep groan.

“EVERYTHING!”

It was winter, you were out here alone with more than half of your team missing, getting abused by snowballs. You had no idea what else everyone else was doing and you hated that. Not that they were doing something, what you hated was the fact that they did they EVER.SINGLE. HOLIDAY. This one was just lucky (?) because Caboose was free.

It wasn’t that Caboose wasn’t fun to play with, he was, it was just that his snowballs hit like bricks and there was no point of playing if you just lost every single time.

You turn your head, constantly burying one side into the snow, just because. As you looked to the left, out of the corner of your eyes you seem a figure with a yellow shirt sleeping on the snow. A broad smile adorned your face and you ushered Caboose to hide behind a mound of snow with you.

Your head bobbed down quickly as you pulled a confused Caboose down to your position.

“WHAT IS-” With wide eyes you frantically tried to shush Caboose. “WHAT?” You rolls your eyes slightly before covering Caboose’s mouth with your hand.

“Caboose!” You whisper shouted. “I need you to be quiet.” You felt him scream ‘quiet?’ underneath your palm. “Yes,  quiet. That means no shouting. Okay?”

A muffed okay as an answer. It took all your will power to remove your hand but you still did it.

“So, Caboose, up there-” you pointed over the mound of snow, “-Grif is sleeping. I need you to throw a snowball at him.”

“Throw a snowball at Gruf? That isn’t very nice.” How could you forget? Although he had a habit of constantly team killing (Church refused to play Halo with him anymore), you’d like to think it wasn’t intentional. Deep down in that disturbingly fragile heart, Caboose was sort of like a kid.

“Throw? Did I say throw? My bad, I meant…” You squinted as you tried to think of a reason quietly. “Help! Yes,I need you to help Gru-Grif. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on Caboose, it’s just like helping Church!”

“But he’s our enemy.” You said nothing and only stared at Caboose.

You were pretty sure he knew what ‘help’ meant but you guess it was possible he didn’t.

“Hmm, okay.” You threw up your hands. “I’ll just tell Church about this. Betcha he’ll be disappointed, maybe he migh-”

“Okay! I’ll do it!”

Of course he would if Church was even mentioned.

“Great, on the count of three I want you to ‘help’ him.”

“On three or after three?”

“On three.” Caboose nodded and started balling up a snowball. You admired it and your face contorted into a cringed. Ouch…that was going to hurt Grif (and hopefully bruise).

“Ready?”

“Yes!”

“3…2…1!”

The ball soared through the air at an immeasurable speed, before coming to a halt and meeting Grif’s exposed face.

BANG!

Grif shot up suddenly and began to look around frantically for the suspects. It was only when you revealed your position, did he actually noticed you two.

“OOOO! SUCK IT RRRRRED!” You shouted with your hand cupped over your mouth. This enticed the birdie from him.

“NOT FUCKING COOL BLUES!”

“Yeah, because it was…”

“DON’T SAY IT!” Your already huge grin, grew into a large one.

“BECAUSE IT WAS…”

“DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY IT.” The biggest shit eating grin, ever…of all time.

“IT WAS C-C-C-COLLLLLLLLD!”

“Now you’ve done it!” The bent down (slowly) and starting bundling snow into his open palm (again slowly). If it was anyone else, you probably would’ve freaked out, possibly screamed, but this was Grif you were talking about.

The person who was taking thirty seconds, and counting, just to make a snowball.

“Hurry it up Grif, I wanna be home for dinner!” Grif only sent you a glare before he finally finished his ball.

“Fuck you blues!” Grif let out a pathetic groan before throwing the snowball…which only went less than a step. There was nothing but a moment of stillness. You just started at Grif, surprised, while Grif looked at you, confused.

The moment ended when you burst out laughing. A laugh that shook y our body, laugh that made you cry and a laugh that made you wheeze. Wheeze so hard you collapsed and clutched your stomach.

After a little bit Caboose joined you, laughing in an extremely awkward fashion, obviously unaware of what was happening.

“HOLY SHIT GRIF! OH MY-AHAHA- OH MY GOD! YOU’RE-AHAHA-PATHETIC!”

As you were laughing Simmons and Donut walked out from some unknown destination to see your upcoming death.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

“WHAT’S-WHAT’S-WHAT’S-AHAHAHAH-I SERIOUSLY CAN’T! I CAN’T-CAN’T BREATHE-PLEASE-AHAHAH!” You tried to answer Simmons question but found you couldn’t. Maybe you were being over the top but you couldn’t stop.

“What the fuck?”

Tears were now sliding down your face as your laughs turned into sometime akin to Satan. You opened your eyes for a second, before remembering what Grif did and continued bursting out again. You would’ve continued laughing if not for the snowball hitting your open mouth.

“Fuck you blue!” Wide eyed, you laid on the snow, hacking out the frozen water.

“I would retaliate but I guess I deserved that.” That’s what you said but you were just too lazy to do anything. Laying on the snow seemed like a better idea than fighting with Grif.

“That means you lose.” You scrunched your face up at Simmons voice. The sentence just had a certain tone to it that annoyed you.

“No, I didn’t lose. You lost.”

“How did we lose? You surrendered!”

“Surrendered?”

“Yeah, you didn’t retaliate, so you forfeited.”

“That would be a good point if it weren’t for…”

“For?”

“The fact that you’re red and I’m blue. You lost, I won. Pretty simple.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.” You poked your tongue out at Simmons.

“You’re red.”

“That’s not an insult.”

“Sure it isn’t _red_.” After your sentence, not a single word was uttered. Even Caboose was unnaturally quiet.

“So…what about another game?” Donut pitched in cheerily.

“NO!” Grif and Simmons answered simultaneously.

“YES!” You and Caboose answered simultaneously.

“What if we all made a snowman together?”

“Oh we like that idea!”

You nodded and everyone began steadily (after minutes of childish complaining) working on the task at hand.

Task one: Build snowman

Task two: Profit??

Easy job. Easy if Simmons and Grif weren’t constantly bickering.

“You need to put exactly ten and four quarter hand fulls to make the head.”

“My hand full or yours?”

“You of course, you’re the one making the snowballs! Why the fuck would you use my hand fulls?”

“So fucking sorry you weren’t specific and I interpreted ‘ten and four quarter hand fulls’ as something else.”

“Jesus Christ Grif, we’re going to lose if you don’t fucking step your game up.”

“Lose what? It’s not a fucking competition, we’re supposed to be building this together.”

You sigh heavily, knowing that this was going to last a long time.

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ

You proudly wipe the sweat off your brow as you noticed your hideous creation.

Simmons and Grif had been assigned to the body, which, now that you think about, was probably the worst idea ever.

The body was inconsistent in every shape and form. Simmons had obviously spent a lot of time and effort designing it (it was evident by the perfect shape) but Grif obviously couldn’t be bothered (evident by the half hazard job).

Caboose and Donut had been tasked with the head which had turned out surprisingly cute. It was only the body that had transformed it into an atrocity.

And you, what did you do? You had the easiest job. Nothing. The easiest job was doing nothing.

“Wow, that looks great!” Donut received multiple scrutinising looks from you, Grif and Simmons.

“No Donut, it doesn’t. It looks like shit.” You couldn’t agree more so you added a little bit more to Grif’s sentence

“It really does, doesn’t it? I regret wasting my time doing this.”

“Same, I’m going home.”

“Wanna ride?”

“Yeah, shotgun!”

“Fuck.” Came Simmons reply to the situation.

“Shotguns lap!”

“Fuck!”

(∩◉ᗝ◉)⊃━☆ﾟ.*

**You can imagine the car as a sports car or a lego car (this one is more fun to think about)**


	45. 32. Illogical (Delta)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author note: LOL, how many months? Let’s make this quick because I’m just a trash person who has no good reason for being dead lol. So, I’m Jo-Jo trash now, forgive me for the millions of references I’m going to make until that goes away. It was also my birthday and I got a lot of League rp ($75) so LLLLLLOOOOOLLL. AHAHAAH, before I start, just wanna warn you I’m bit rusty when it comes to writing. One more thing, contemplating making a Jo-Jo x reader thing but I know I shouldn’t be. I might just write a few fics but not dedicate a whole blog to it. Anyway enjoy because it might be the only thing you’re getting for a while LOL (WHERE IS MY SEASON 15?!!?!??!) + (Seriously laughed way to hard while writing this)

**ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ**

To Delta, anything that didn’t benefit him or his teammates was illogical. Eating was illogical as he was an A.I and never had the ‘Thrill’ (as York put it) of eating. To him, it was essential for humans to eat but it didn’t make sense as to why they ate so many different foods. Taste was another thing that perturbed him. Why adapt to hate certain foods and taste? Survival is based on living on whatever you’ve got, not picking and choosing certain things because of taste.

Love was also another thing he didn’t get and for a good reason. A program could only do what it was programmed to do. He wasn’t taught how to do anything but think logically.  So how exactly did he end up in this predicament? How did an A.I fall in love with a human when he wasn’t supposed to both metaphorically, psychically and ethically speaking. 

Nervousness. He wasn’t supposed to feel that but he did (he thinks he does). Whenever he saw you his brain turned into slush and he could barely form a coherent sentence. Logic was thrown out of the window as his mind thought (and still thinks) of you and only you. He would always think before he talked. What If what he said that would it hurt your feelings, or annoy you some way?

Excitement. He wasn’t supposed to feel a bubbly emotion rise within him if you were around or even mentioned.That spark of quickly destroyed joy when they said you were possibly…

Heartache. He didn’t want to talk about that one anymore. He only wanted to think about the good times you had together. 

Nobody knew (that was a lie and even Delta knew it) every knew in one way or another. Everyone but you and he didn’t know if he regretted it or was pleased that you’d never know now. 

Because A.I’s such as him, fragments or whole weren’t supposed to do anything illogical. And love was the most illogical thing for him

**( ∩◉ᗝ◉)⊃━☆ﾟ.***


	46. 80. Remorse (Washington)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Out of time (Washingotn). Also, Rick and Morty reference + Jojo reference   
> One shots probably in line (Some aren’t reader lol, just skip to the line break if you don’t care or have no idea what I’m talking about)  
> P- Platonic  
> R-Romantic (The more R’s, the more I love them)  
> League of legends  
> • Rakan x Xayah-R  
> • Rakan x reader-R  
> • Ekko x reader-P/R  
> • Jhin x reader-????  
> JJBA  
> • Kira Yoshikage x reader-????????  
> • Joylne x Ansui ❤-R  
> • (Young) Joseph x reader-R/P  
> • Gio x reader- RRRRRRRRRRRR  
> • Mista x reader-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR/P?  
> • Buccellati “”-R/P? (maybe 2)   
> • Jonathan “”-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
> •   
> Mystic messenger  
> • Jumin x reader-R  
> • Seven x reader-R  
> • Zen x reader (My bias ❤)-R/P  
> One Pun Man  
> • Saitama x reader-R/P  
> • Speed-O’-Sound Sonic x reader-RRRRRRRRRRR  
> • Genos x reader-R  
> Rvb   
> • Felix x reader-R  
> • Idaho (whichever one was the dumb one in the trio) x reader-R/P  
> Dangan Ronpa (okay, I LOVE Dangan Ronpa)  
> • Nanami x reader-P/R  
> • Gundam x reader-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
> • Komaeda x reader -RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
> • Hinata x reader-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
> • Kuzuryuu x reader-R  
> • Kazuichi “”-RR  
> • Makoto “”-RRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
> You can probably request if you can be specific, bye, enjoy the story

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ

ᕙ(◉ᗝ◉)ᕗ

Washington had a lot of regrets in life and those would continue until he was consumed by the welcome embrace of death. Day in, day out he had to unwillingly interact (more like you screaming at him and him taking it all in) with you and there was no escape.

The two of you were in the same cell for the rest of eternity. An eternity he thought he wouldn’t live without losing his sanity. For example, right now he didn’t think that he’d stay sane any longer.

“DON’T STOP ME NOW, I’M HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME! HAVING A BALL! DON’-”

“PRISONER C-137, SHUT IT!” He couldn’t agree anymore with the guard you so affectionally named “Robert”. You had been singing... “singing” (Screaming into a fake microphone), for over three hours and just about everybody within a 50-metre radius, more like the whole ship, had gotten sick and tired of you.

“-T STOP ME NOW, IF YOU WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME-”

“C-137!” Washingotn wasn’t facing you but from your lack of screaming (thank god) he knew that the smile adorning your face disappeared. He heard some shuffling before, for the first time in three months, he saw you on your feet.

“ROBERT? ARE YOU ILLITERATE?”

“What?” Without warning you went to the bars separating you and “Robert” and slammed your hands on it.

“ I ASKED YOU, ARE YOU FUCKING ILLITERATE? ANSWER THE QUESTION!”

“Jesus Christ! NO? What relevance does that-”

“WELL…! If you weren’t illiterate, you’d know that the lyrics say, ‘Don’t stop me now’!”

“What? What does that even mean? Illiteracy doesn’t work like that.”

“Clearly it does BECAUSE THE ONLY ILLITERATE PERSON STOPPED ME!”

“I’m not illiterate, I stopped you because your “singing” was fucking unbearable. How does one even sing for three hours straight?”

“Unbearable? I bet you listen to modern pop and think you’re an expert when it comes to songs. Maybe you millennials should listen to some older music and gain an appreciation of history.”

“You’re not even making sense anymore, just shut up C-137.”

“YOU’RE NOT MAKING SENSE! Are you just going to continue spouting out that stupid reference?”

“Reference? What are you- you know what, let’s ask an unbiased opinion.”

“Great idea Robert! WASHINGTON!”

Washington swears he almost got whiplash from how fast his head turned to you. Why did “Robert” bring him into this conversation?

The so-called offender seemed to give Washington an unremorseful smile underneath his helmet to which he could only let out a pathetic sigh to.

“What seems to be the problem?”

“Unbiased opinion, go! My singing isn’t bad is it?” He had to think carefully before answering, you were in the same cell as him for the rest of his life and it seemed like you held a grudge.

“I wouldn’t say it was bad…” What a lie, but you were happy with his response as you turned to Robert with a smug look on your face.

“Seeeee, Washington-”

“But, I’m not a fan of Queen.”

The pure look of offense on your face from his words was astonishing.

“Excuse you? What kind of music do you listen to? I bet,” you placed a finger to your temple and your face displayed an expression of deep thought, “your next line is going to be ‘I listen to Evanescence.”

“I listen to Evanescence.” Before he could silence himself, he let out the exact words you predicted.

“OF COURSE! OF COURSE! OF COURSE! OF COURSE, MR EDGE LORD WOULD LISTEN TO EVANESCENCE! THIS IS WHY I KILL PEOPLE, OKAY? THIS IS WHY!”

**( ∩** **◉** **ᗝ** **◉** **)** **⊃** **━☆** **ﾟ** **.***

**( ∩** **◉** **ᗝ** **◉** **)** **⊃** **━☆** **ﾟ** **.***

**Seriously though, Queen is bae. You hate them you hate me.**


	47. Imagine (Andrews)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd bang her

Imagine Andrews trying to pick you up (May be inaccurate as more is added to her personality)

  * So, Andrews gives me an early Carolina kind’ve feeling (Only difference is that I like one of them; hint, it’s Andrews)



 

  * She wouldn’t understand how to react to her feelings



 

  * She’d talk with Frank about her feelings, try and come to a reasonable reason before just giving up and accepting it



 

  * When she first flirts, she’ll try a Tucker and try to come off as smooth but just embarrass herself



 

  * All like; “Hey wanna pose for my camera?”



 

  * Or “I have an article title for you, ‘world’s hottest person’.”



 

  * Just cheesy stuff overall



 

  * (Won’t admit it but she’s slightly embarrassed that her name is Dylan)



 

  * When she realises it’s ineffective she just tries to communicate her feelings with terrible acronyms



 

  * “I have an URP concerning a BHB, it seems like I’ve FMIL with you and I CCMF. ILY.”



 

  * (I have an urgent romantic problem concerning a beautiful human being, it seems like I’ve fallen madly in love with you and I can’t control my feelings. I love you.)




	48. Head canons: Hanging out with the (I want to fucking die) squad. Aka The A.Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: My babies don’t get enough love, I’ve written one for them before (59. Challenged) but I thought I’d give them more. The UNO thing is based off real experiences, honestly just fuck you George, you cheating fuck. I hate you.  
> Words: 830  
> Characters: Epsilon, Gamma, Omega, Sigma, Theta, Delta  
> Genre: Comedy (Real life AU)

** Theta ** **:**

  * My beautiful baby cinnamon bun ❤
  * The cutest of your group and the kindest
  * Your go to boy/man if you want to talk about your feelings. Will accept everything you say with an open mind
  * If you invite him on day out (romantic or not) he’ll be extremely delighted to go
  * Might even miss out on a day or two sleep because of how excited he is
  * His excitement might reach the point where he’ll gloat (in a very embarrassed manner) about it to everyone
  * This would ultimately lead to the gang (minus Delta because he is a tsundere) tagging along in jealousy.
  * If he can contain his excitement and you two are able to go on your date, he’ll either take you to a skatepark or something with sick fireworks  
  
Extra: Please don’t compliment my baby, he’ll die from embarrassment. He is too modest and innocent for his own good



** Delta: **

  * You could call him the dad of the group but that would imply that he cares for everyone else
  * He only cares for you and Theta but even that’s a stretch
  * The emotionless one that is perplexed by the stupidity of the gang
  * Does have some momentary internal crisis’s about if he likes you or not (Can be platonic or romantic if you want)
  * Usually can calm down Epsilon (Sort of, he just directs his attention to some other thing)
  * Has some moments, like whenever someone calls him out on something he does wrong. He’ll go bright red but won’t admit it
  * Can be quite defensive of you (and Theta) and will have passive aggressive anger towards the person  
  
Extra: Is smart and uses the metric system 



**EDIT:**

** Gamma:  **

·         A tie between him and Omega for the most obnoxious member

·         Impossible to have a conversation with this thing. WHY DO YOU KEEP LYING?

·         Greetings are unironically terrible knock-knock jokes

·         Gets genuinely offended if you don’t laugh or call out his bad jokes

·         Him and Sigma get along TOO well. Keep them away from each other at ALL cost!

·         Doesn’t enjoy spending time with you alone. Kind of an asshole and will only hang out with you if Epsilon is there (too piss him off) or his best friend Sigma 


	49. Head Canons: Yandere North

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: I’m not really satisfied with how this is written, but I haven’t released something in nearly three months so here you go. I might come back a lot later and rewrite this, that’s how unsatisfied I am with it. It’s a bit of work, family, and games. I’m trying to write something for freaky Friday (

  * Not the typical yandere regardless, he’s still as obsessive and restricting as the other
  * Pre-meeting his S/o, he was a social butterfly but never did get close to anyone
  * Lost his parents at a young age and because of this, he’s scared of losing people
  * AS of meeting his S/o he would treat them like every other person  
>Smiles  
>Nice words  
>Hugs?
  * No, nobody really noticed (even himself) but his S/o was the only one he would hug
  * He does eventually realise though and tries to distance himself but that ultimately fails because he realises one thing
  * He can’t live without you
  * Something (or everything) about them reminds him of his parents
  * An accident (serious or not) triggers his obsessiveness
  * It starts off with some weird sentences and expressions  
“You’re the one.”   
“I’m glad you’re back”
  * Before he starts with some…odd physical contact
  * Brushing their hand, moving closer to them whenever someone (gender does not matter) is around them and caressing their cheek while starting into their eyes
  * NOTE: THEY ARE **NOT** DATING! NOT ARE THEY CLOSE IN ANY WAY
  * S/o is just a friend of South, so of course they’re freaked the fuck out and are trying to justify all his actions
  * He does finally get the courage (?) to ask them out and they reluctantly accept in an effort to stop his weird actions
  * It kind of works, he does back off in public but when no-one’s around he gets a little too close for comfort
  * His hugs will change from something casual and romantic to an uncomfortable bear hug. They also last longer than what’s socially acceptable
  * Does eventually start relying on his s/o for any emotional choices and how to think
  * If he’s in an ethical dilemma, he’ll listen 100% to whatever they tell him to do
  * His emotional leaning gets so intense that he can’t spend extended periods without them
  * And if they do decide to push him away, he’ll start making threats towards himself  
“I’ll die if you leave”  
“If you don’t love me, I don’t think I need to live”  
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
  * Then he’ll actually start physically hurting himself
  * In the end, he either ends up dead (By killing himself or getting himself killed) or his S/o is stuck in an unhealthy relationship




	50. Temple Headcanons

Author's Note: Request are something I do when inspired. I don't want to force out something subpar. Please be patient and you'll be rewarded

  
Okay, Temple is a lot like Church so let's get some clear distinctions between these two

  
Temple is an asshole but he will always put an extra amount of assholery with each action

  
For example, on a date he'd probably trip is S/O and then say something along the lines of   
"Ah, sorry. I lost my footing"  
Or  
If his S/O tripped, he'd laugh his ass off before (maybe) helping them up

  
Usually he's never worried about their safety or health because he doesn't take anything seriously

  
When annoyed, the type of guy to start a fight with a random then act like a victim when they get angry

  
A proficient and disgusting liar who will purposely mislead people  
"I love you...just kidding"  
"I really do love you just like I love the government."

  
Prefers momentous gifts in comparison to expensive gifts. Objects that clearly have intense emotions and feelings put into are kept forever

  
If his S/O were getting flirted with, would not hesitate in making a dramatic entrance to t their attention

  
An arm sling, flip of his fabulous (probably blonde) hair and a flash of a cocky grin to the flirter

  
If they don't back off then...passively aggressive anger?

  
Covering this mouth (the wrong way so he's actually projecting his whisper) and saying  
"This dude's a fucking idiot, let's go."  
"You are way out of IT'S league."  
Hates when S/O initiates PDA, he only does it when he's jealous for generally pissed

  
When jealous there's a lot of pulling, tugging and really aggressive hand holding

  
When happy he likes to intwine his fingers with S/O and romantically kiss them on their knuckles


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: I'm just cleaning out my request, so I might try for the dailyl headcanon updates (If I'm not too busy)

  * Textbook definition of a tsundere (if you don't know what that is, you'll find out)
  * So he's crushing on a girl (or dude, he isn't picky)
  * He would realise it almost instantly but also couldn't think of a solid reason? Maybe they're really cute or he can just relate to them in every single way
  * But DENIAL MY BOI. Lots of denial for months upon months, trying to convince himself it's just a stupid natural reaction or his brain's fucking stupid and does what it wants
  * He'd unconsciously try to get their attention regardless of if it's bad, only to literally slap himself later at how stupid he was being
  * During this denial period there's also (unfortunately) a lot more violent acts like girly slaps and pathetic punches. He'll also start insulting them more than necessary if they do something wrong
  * He does finally accept it though, after a really long time. He doesn't confess for even longer because he has low self esteem and imagines getting rejected
  * During this time depression is a constant and extremely obvious, so if anyone calls him out on it he will lose it and deny it adamantly.
  * So let's say he confesses but gets rejected:



"Oh well, fuck you too. I don't even like you." Church would stomp off before crying himself to sleep every night for weeks. He's emotionally weak and can't let things go

  * If they say yes he'll be like:



"Of course, I'm Church, who wouldn't want to go out with me? I'd go out with me if I could." He would then start rambling because he was so nervous and stayed up until 3am just thinking of how he was going to say it.

Extra: If asked out on a date since he's too embarrassed to say it himself:  
"Pfft, took you king enough to ask. I think I'll go only because I have nothing to do."


	52. Shopping with Red and Blues

Authors note: Wash and Carolina are still freelancers in my eyes.

Characters: Church, Caboose, Texas, Tucker

Genre: General (lol)

  * Let’s change this up a bit okay?
  * So of course you _think_ you’d know what the blues would do while shopping
  * Church, angry, Caboose, dumb etc. But that’s boring a predictable
  * To be honest Tucker would not be flirty, this guy was left with a child and all of the responsibilities of that, so he’s got bags under his eyes, hasn’t slept in days and is really jumpy
  * A lot of “Would this be good for junior?” or “if I buy this will junior break it?”
  * Mostly likely will unintentionally isolate himself by falling asleep during conversations or just blurt of some nonsense, annoying his date
  * If said female was able to swindle out a conversation with him, expect tired pickup lines or just him asking about how to raise a child
  * “You’re a woman, you should know how to raise a child”



“What the fuck dude, I don’t have a child, the fuck is that supposed to mean?” She’d say back

  * Now Caboose, this boy literally needs a leash. If you leave him for more than a second he will most likely get abducted by some rando’s
  * That or he’d either hang around with children, alarming parents (“is he a pedo or not right in the head?)
  * With the female, he would grab her and take her to the kid’s sections (WHEN I SAY KIDS, I MEAN TODDLER) and just play around with all the toys
  * During this, Church (him and Tucker are there “spying”) would come and turn on all of the electronics before running away. What a cheeky little shit.
  * Church, the dumb ass would say “I’m on a diet” when they take a break for food, but complain until she gives him food after they’ve ordered. If she willingly doesn’t give him food, he’ll just steal everything off her plate being all “subtle”
  * By subtle, he’ll look her straight in the eyes while stealing food off of her plate. What a little shit. Also a disgusting spender that has no idea how to save and will “borrow” money from his date if he doesn’t have enough
  * Okay last, but definitely not least, Allison. Allison is the weird type of girl who’ll say she doesn’t like shopping and be all reluctant while her date is trying to convince her, but the second they make it to the mall, she’ll be BUSTLING
  * “They’re having a sale for clothes begs, should I buy them?”



“Do you even do laundry?”

“Nope, but I could use it as a weapon.”

  * She’ll also beat up anyone that whistles at her or her female (girl)friend and send threatening glares if anyone even looks in her general direction
  * If she’s nervous and he date points it out, she’ll scream about how she isn’t nervous in the slightest and that they’re imaging things to make themselves feel better.




End file.
